Stefania and I receive a lot of interesting products to review. One of the most intriguing was a book called How Not to Look Old by Charla Krupp. I've never had so many guests walk in, pick up a book and read it cover to cover while the ice melted in their drinks. And that's including the couple of times Chief and I had porn on the coffee table. (It was the vintage kind, with real boobs and hipster appeal, but still, naked ladies!)
Charla has a slightly more traditional approach to "age appropriate" than we do here -- if you love black fishnets and torn jeans, then Stefania and I believe that's what you should wear. And we take our clip-in hair extensions off to the gals who can still shop in the junior section!
However, we do agree with one of Charla's rules, that a grown up lady needs a good haircut. If you have long, religious-fanatic hair, like Crystal Gayle or romance novelist (and a total idol of mine) Johanna Lindsey, then you must Cut That Shit Off.
Waist-length -- or longer -- hair on anyone over the age of 15 just looks odd, unless you're the bound concubine of Duke Leto Atreides.
That's right. From Dune. In other words, none of you reading this right now. Snip-snip!
Look, the hair shaft gets thinner as you age, and more brittle. No matter how much conditioner you use, or how many horse vitamins you take, as your hair gets longer it gets duller, and split ends are inevitable. Plus, a quick (but harrowing) ride on the 1 California bus in San Francisco will prove to you that women do experience pattern baldness in their later years.
It doesn't have to be an $800 visit to the Vidal Sassoon salon, but if you want to keep your looks, you need a relationship with a hairstylist. Think shape, think grooming, think "not looking like a crazy old hippie."
The Cut That Shit Off rule also applies to Gents With Grey Beards. Dear Sirs: do not bother buying boxes of beard dye, just shave. Sure, Sean Connery looks good with a salt and pepper lip caterpillar. But he's James Bond. Most of you are not. Accept it and pass the Barbasol.