40 Whatever

U R Doin' It Wrong (Way Wrong): Paula Abdul

born June 19, 1962, age 46

In this month's LHJ, Paula Abdul finally admits 12-year pill addiction.

File under: A Surprise To No One Except Her Mother. (And maybe not even her.)

The Cougar - Episode 3: This Journey is Giving Me "Feelings"

Warning: I'm starting to have feelings for Stacey. Yes! I'm beginning to open my heart to her!

Don't get me wrong -- the show is still totally trashy, the guys are all idiots. Stacey & Viv showed up one morning encrusted in sequins ... yes, in the day time! Also, wow, I optic yellow really is the best color for camel toe. Tasty!

But ... there were a couple of times when the guys were being all douchey, and Stacey totally called them on it! In a non-dramatic, no time for this shit, Mom-knows-exactly-what-you're-doing way. And it was kinda badass!

But mostly the episode made me cringe, and now it's your turn.

If They Had Talent In The First Place, They Wouldn't Be On A Reality Show

The "fun" started immediately with Truth or Dare-Dare #1: An impromptu "talent" show, with Stacey's four favs winning a spot on the group date. 

Stacey thought this was a great contest because “younger men are very spontaneous” which probably meant "always have a hard-on." It certainly didn't mean "they're clever, smart, or funny" because their talents were lame.

But to her credit, most of them probably were "packing heat" when they saw Travis the Near-girl juggling.

Doin' it well: Van Jones

Born: 1968, age 40.

Current Job: is the Special Advisor for Green Jobs, Enterprise and Innovation at the White House Council on Environmental Quality (CEQ).

Previous Work: Environmental advocate, a civil rights activist and attorney, and a New York Times bestselling author. President and founder of Green For All, a national NGO dedicated to "building an inclusive green economy strong enough to lift people out of poverty."^[1] His first book, The Green Collar Economy, released on October 7, 2008, was a New York Times bestseller.^[2] Jones also founded the Ella Baker Center for Human Rights, a California NGO working for alternatives to violence and incarceration.^[3]

Martital Status: Damn, that is a wedding ring in the photo.

What we'd say if we ever met him: Gee, Mr. Jones, it's kinda hot in here. Is it global warming or is it...you?

What he might be surprised to know about us: We've read his book and it's inspiring.