About 40 Whatever

  • BFF's Bad Kitty of Wishbone Clover and Stefania of CityMama are turning 40 this year and we're milking it to death, just like Jennifer Aniston. Will John Mayer write us a special 40th birthday song? No? Whatever.
  • Already part of the 40w Club?
    Care to share your experiences? We love guest posters, especially those bearing wine. Email us, we'll get drunk together.
  • Contact or whatever:
    [email protected]
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06/15/2009

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Al_Pal

Dude, this happened to me when I was TWENTY-FOUR!

Wearing a loose linen dress, probably slouching... at the graduation party of a housemate, at her parents' house. One of her old male relatives said something along the lines of "when are you due?"

I stood up straight, showed that I did not, in fact, have a bulging stomach, and he started apologizing.

So ridiculous.

Reminds me of the comedian Brian Regan:

I’m always putting my foot in my mouth. I don’t stop to think. Oh, no!...words are coming out…oh, no…I’m not thinking…what is that? Like I met this woman recently; I could have sworn she was pregnant, lemme tell ya. [crowd moans] I know, now. I think the rule is: Don’t guess at that ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever. Something like that. I didn’t have enough evers memorized. So I said, “When’s that …b…aby due?” You ever feel a word coming out but it’s too late to stop it? Whoa! It’s coming out and loud… “Hey, when’s that BABY due? BABY!”

“What baby?”

“OOOooo…At the zoo…the pandas….I knew they were trying to have one. I just thought we’d talk about them…talk about the fluffy zoo animals. I hear they’ve got ‘em over there. You can go look at ‘em if you want, and touch ‘em.”

Al_Pal

(and, yeah, I got rid of that dress!) ;p

MazingAmy

Sadly this happens to me pretty often. I am very busty. People seem to take that as license to ask "when are you due" or "how old is your baby"

Grrrrrrr,

Pamela

I have had a neighbor ask me twice- I admit I do not have a flat gut, and wear loose clothes...but really no one should ever ask unless you wear a shirt that says "baby" with an arrow. BTW, you look very slim on the blog!

Robyn

I landed myself in the ER three days after delivering my son. When the ER doctor asked me when I was due, I had to point to the baby my spouse was holding. I was glad to see that he felt like an idiot. I realize that I had just had the baby so was still looking preggo, but motherfucker read the damn chart!

Lesley

you should never eva ask unless you see the baby emerging from her body!

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40 Whatever Approved

Things to Do When We're 40 (The Not Bucket List)

  • A barbecue tour of the South
    We'll start in the Carolinas and end in Texas and sample the best barbecue America has to offer. Why? Because we like meat.
  • Hotel Living
    We like: mini bars, movies, and lounging around in our pajamas with our laptops right where they are supposed to be. We'll bring running shoes to pretend like we're going to work out, but really, who are we kidding. You see where this is going?
  • Knock some sense into dumb people
    We'd love to be the camp counselors on a show like the Real World or Rock of Love.
  • Eating Dinner in a Vineyard While the Sun Sets
    You know those scenes of a dining table set in a Tuscan or Sonoma vineyard dressed with beautiful linens and people sitting around it drinking wine and eating and laughing while the sun goes down? We want to be those people.
  • Yoga Retreat in New Mexico
    Some of our fondest memories are of spending time doing yoga together. Do other wannabe yoginis spend the entire class laughing together? We do.