A recreation of the look I gave that nosy bitch. I had to use wine, but you get the idea. Do I look pregnant?
So it happened again. For the second time in my life, someone asked me if I was pregnant. And I'm not. I don't even have kids. Plus, I feel like I'm always on a diet and workout all the goddamned time. How can I look pregnant?
It was not lost on me that this happened during my (extended) 40th birthday celebration. Is this the inevitable slowdown of my metabolism, which was never winning any races in the first place?
More to the point, how the fuck do you respond to a question like that?