CityMama™

There are too many extremes in parenting. Everyone needs to just relax. Take the slacker/Libra approach. It works! And is so much less stressful.

For example:

I'm all for breastfeeding. If you can. If you want. Or else use formula. Or breastfeed and use formula. What's the worst that can happen to your child if you give your child formula. Line up a bunch a third graders. I challenge anyone to pick out the formula-fed v. breastfed children. (OK, the long-haired kid in the Phish t-shirt is your only freebie.)

Nurse in public. Anywhere. Anytime. The law is on your side (at least in California) if you want to nurse in public, so please do it. Women need to nurse in public more. People need to see women nurse in public more. But they don't necessarily need to see my tits. I'm no prude and I think bodies are natural and beautiful and all that yadda, but I really don't want to look at someone's entire exposed breast unless I'm reading Playboy at the beauty parlor. (It's where I catch up on my Playboy reading.) It's distracting. Especially if I'm eating. If it looks anything like my breasts do when I'm nursing, then please, cover up a bit. I'm all about balancing my own need to feed my child and trying to be sensitive to others. (After all, I'm a Libra!) I do care if the 75 year old grandmother sitting at the next table feels uncomfortable about seeing me nurse because she's trying to enjoy her meal. So I pull down my shirt. It's not my job to "school" her on why she should be okay with what I'm doing. And it is possible to nurse without anyone knowing that you're doing it.

Baby food. Make it yourself if you want. (It's super-easy. Everyone should at least try it.) Or else buy the jarred stuff. I'd stick to the organic jars, but that's just me.

Diapers. Use cloth or disposables. Use cloth and disposables. It's no one's business why you've made the choice you made. And if you choose cloth, please don't lecture the people who use disposables on how they are destroying the environment unless you plan to move to a thatched hut in the middle of the rainforest with no electricity and running water and you plan to grow all your own food and make your own clothes.

Junk food. Everyone eats it. And I mean everyone. One piece of candy or a trip to Mcdonald's every once in a long while is not going to kill you or your kid. And you're not winning any points by avoiding junk food. No one is keeping track. And even if you tell people that you've never allowed sugary, trans-fatty, or salty snacks to cross your child's lips, no one believes you.

Attachment parenting. Wear your kid in a sling. And put him down when your back hurts. Co-sleep with your babe, but if you're not sleeping because you are worried about squishing the little nugget, then move her to her bassinette or crib. There. See how easy that was?

Sesame Street can teach your child how to count. It taught mine to count to 9. (After 9 comes 8 again...). I sure as heck didn't teach her how to count. The Count did. Granted she can only classify up to 2 items, but she can say the numbers in a row up to 9. Even if she did just memorize them. And she learned what mail was by watching Elmo's World. And I'm not talking email, real mail. TV can be a good thing.

Have date night with your partner if you have one (or with friends if you don't) and leave the baby with a trusted sitter. Nurture your relationship with your partner as much as you nurture your relationship with your baby. You partner is your rock. Your support. Lean on each other. Love each other. Remember to TELL each other that you love each other. You aren't doing your little family any favors by staying home every night without any time to yourselves. The baby will probably cry at some point when you are gone. But sitters know that. And you've left 14 phone numbers with the sitter so if anything serious were to happen, you will be contacted. Go out already! You know it's been too long since your last date night.

Read whatever parenting book you want. But don't read it as if you need to follow every piece of advice. I don't support banning books under any circumstances, but I would attend the Babywise/What to Expect... book burning party. Those books are evil.

And the last Libra Lesson on Parenting that I'd like to share is: Baby in highchair + a handful of Cheerios = 20 minutes for you to do whatever you want.