First the important stuff.
I did end up seeing Julia Roberts. She crossed right in front of me into her theater as I was walking back to my hotel after Thursday's meetings. How did I know it was her? I don't read every tabloid website and magazine for nothing. I spotted the paparazzi camoflauge immediately: baseball hat, hair in ponytail, dark glasses. Don't celebs know by now that the baseball hat routine ain't fooling anyone? She may as well have been wearing a huge sign that said, "I'M PRETTY WOMAN." She is taller than I am.
Even more exciting for me, though, was seeing Sway (Calloway). I spotted the dreads and the blazing red baggy sweats from 20 feet away. I wanted to go up to him and say something like, "I'm from San Francisco, too!" But that would have been stoopid. I am taller than he is.
So, how to sum up the last 48 hours? I'll do it brain dump-style.
Flop sweat
I don't know how people talk in front of
cameras for a living. I had four lines to say. It took no longer than
30 seconds to say them. There are people standing all around you looking
at you telling you to relax, which is im. possible. when there
are people standing all around you looking at you telling you to relax. About 3,256 do-overs later, my video stint was done. I sweated like a pig rabid wild boar through the whole thing.
I also perspired while talking to just about every higher-up I had to
meet at a cocktail party. The moment I was asked something about me,
it was like they were beaming a laser onto my face. I instantly turned
into Nixon during the Kennedy debate. So not smooth. Fuck.
Cool jobs
Photographers have a cool job. So do make-up artists. So does everyone who worked in the building where our meetings were held. Except the security guards. They looked bored.
Being in your 20's in the corporate world
First, there's the 20-something clothes which are, fab. I mean, only in your 20's do you go to work in a white cotton shirt jauntily-tied at the waist, a black skirt with large white polka-dots on it, bare legs, and sling-back pumps.
I can't help it. Everytime I saw a two 20-something hipsters talking to each other in the halls, I thought, "They're totally picking up on each other."
Case in point, overheard in the elevator:
Hipster Girl: "What did you do before this?"
Hipster Boy: "I worked at a medical supply place."
HG: "Was it in New York?"
HB: "Um...Yonkers."
HG: "That is sooo cool!"
Being in your 30's (or older) in the corporate world
Rules.
Arm rest hogs
My whole flight home I had an armrest hog sitting next to me. (Remember, seating karma?) Now, the best part about flying Jet Blue is being able to watch about 30 channels of DirectTV starting from the moment you get on the plane until the plane is parked at the gate. The worst part is having to to nudge the guy next to you's arm off your controls everytime you wanted to change the channel. Asshole.
One thing I know
I do not like hearing my children's voice over the telephone. I especially do not like listening to Bunny read a bedtime story to Wallie when I am not there. Usually I am the one holding the phone so that the girlie-q's can talk to J. during the day, or to family members who are far away. Now I know how they feel. I don't like being on the receiving end of those sound waves. That's one thing I know.
And that was my trip to New York.
