Putting PR people on notice

In the "State of the Momosphere" session on day 1 of Blogher07, I listened as not one, but two PR guys stood up to tell us mothers how proud they were of their strategy to "hook" moms into trying their products by pretending to read our blogs (so we'll trust them) before offering up whatever it is that they'd like us to blog for free.

And I fumed.

My hand shot up and Jory passed me the mike, and I told them (essentially) to stop treating us all like we're stupid.  We all know PR people don't read our blogs.  I mean, if one more PR person starts and email with, "Hey! How was Hawaii!" because a quick glance through last month's posts mentions my trip, I'm gonna scream.

I also told them that even though I get pitches everyday at CityMama, over at Kimchi Mamas (the Korean Mama culture and identity blog to which I contribute) we get none.  Not a one. Ever.

Because people of color do not matter to advertisers. (Edited to add: many of our contributors are white or half-white, BTW.  So what does that mean?)

To his credit one of the PR dudes came up to me after the session and asked "How should we pitch to mommy bloggers?"

And I said, "Tell me you looked up my stats on Alexa. Tell me you picked me because you *think* I may be influential. Tell me that you know mombloggers get pitched to all the time but that you'd *pretty please* like me to listen to you.  Just don't bullshit me by telling me 'you read my blog.' I know you don't."

Then he admitted, "You're right. We don't pitch to bloggers of color."  And here's the money quote: "We just don't know what to do with them."

Yes, I did thank him for making me feel like a second class citizen.

But the most important thing I forgot to say as I was giving the PR dude that smackdown was that when the BlogHer ad network was starting and Lisa Stone asked me if I'd like to join it, I said, "Sure, but I'm also starting this blog called Kimchi Mamas with some other moms..."

Without hesitating, Lisa said, "Great. We'd love to have you all, too."

I didn't have to qualify. I didn't have to explain. I didn't have to pitch. I didn't have to justify. And because of that, I remember her words.

She just GOT IT. No further questions asked, and Kimchi Mamas has been part of the ad network since the Day 1. That right there is why I have so much respect for BlogHer.

So why is it that no PR people will pitch to us?

When I pointed out sarcastically that maybe it's because "Asians don't clean," (since I do get an extraordinary amount of cleaning product pitches) an Asian sistah from the back of the room added, "Yeah, we just do laundry."

This brings up so many issues for me.  Like, why are all the people in commercials white? And why aren't there any sitcoms about Asian families? (Where are the Asian Huxtables or Waltons?) Why are we so invisible in the media? Why is it that when I see an Asian couple (or even rarer) a mixed-race couple on TV, I secretly take pleasure in it even though the novelty and tokenness of it pisses me off and then I get angry at myself for feeling happy in the first place?

What are these people saying about me if I'm desirable as a "CityMama" and not as a "Kimchi Mama?"

What we as BlogHers—as humans—going to do about it?

photo: Jupiter Images

[cross-posted on Kimchi Mamas, where we do more than laundry.]

Comments

[Daisy]

You go, girl! These PR folks need to hear from real women, real smart women, real women of all races. Thanks for speaking up! You're fantastic!

[Lia]

I am really glad to be able to hear your point of view because I would never know stuff like this happens. It makes me so sad that in 2007 shit like this still happens.

I wish I could have been there to see you take the PR guy to the cleaners.

[Amanda]

Not that this is an excuse, but could it be demographics? Are they maybe attempting to market to a broader audience? Having grown up in the bay area, I guess I always assumed it was that diverse everywhere, but it's SO not. I was completely unprepared for how white it is up here in the Northwest. In Mountain View, Alex was the ONLY white kid in his preschool class and here I have a feeling it's going to be the opposite. It's very strange.

[Miguelina (AKA Reluctant Housewife)]

Amen! I feel like I constantly have to remind them that I'm a not only a mommyblogger, but also a Hispanic blogger. It's disconcerting that marketers assume that if you a) write and b) people can relate to you, well, then you couldn't possibly be Hispanic!

The sad thing is that I can say this because I used to be in marketing. At times, it was a surreal experience.

What are we going to do about it? Great question. I don't have the answer, but I think that blogging and showing people that we're not so different is a great start.

Thanks for getting me thinking!

[Mom101]

So many good points. I'd actually love to have a greater discussion with you about it because you have excellent insight on this.

I can vouch for one of the pr guys on that panel however, and tell you that he totally reads our blogs. Like dozens of them a day, for real. I'm incredibly impressed with that because like you, I don't think the lame first line of the pitch letters that reference our latest post is fooling anyone.

And your comments were hilarious. My suggestion is that YOU go ahead and write that sitcom, just the way you want it, then pitch it, sell it, and shake up the world.

[Izzy]

My favorite is when they forget to change the name of the blogger they're contacting. I was recently addressed as "Rebecca" and while it's a lovely name, it sure as hell isn't MINE. You can be sure I wrote them back and told them what "Rebecca" thinks of their lame approach.

[QSMama / Lea]

I see that Mom101 mentioned the sitcom already--but what I clicked Comment to say is that you're onto something here. Might be an essay, a magazine article, a book. Let your anger and wonder lead you to create something timely and thought-provoking.

Sheesh, couldn't that PR rep have chosen some better words, like, "We have a lot to learn in that area. Where in addition to Kimchi Mamas should I start my research?"

- L

P.S.--SO jealous you're hangin' with Elizabeth Edwards!

[Tere]

As a Hispanic mama blogger, I agree with you that people of color/minorities do not matter to advertisers. It's a topic I touched on on a recent post over at BlogRhet.

You bring up some great points here that should make everyone think - thank you.

[GraceD]

Damn, dollin! Righteous and overdue slammin on the suits!

Did anyone video the session? If so, I'd be playing your smackdown on a continuous loop.

All righty, you'll debrief me at That Mexican Place, si?

xoxoxo

[Dana Tuszke]

I was so happy when I heard you say what you did in that panel. I wish the PR guys would take the time and do their homework before pitching to bloggers.

[fidget]

Thank you for handing him his ass. I'd also like to say that is is PR in general. The women who PR bomb me often seem just as clueless as the men.

[Marivi]

OUCH. I feel ashamed to be making my living doing PR. (Though going by Alexa data, as you recommend, would only exacerbate the problem, I think.)

Miguelina, Tere: Looking forward to checking out your blogs. (I'm from Mexico.)

BTW: When I first graduated from my Ivy League university (with nearly straight As, btw) and started looking for jobs, the advertising and public relations agencies I targeted all told me they couldn't hire me because they didn't do Hispanic marketing! Did they really think my ethnicity and ability to speak Spanish canceled out my English-language skills and general smarts?

[ec]

I totally agree with Mom-101 about the sitcom -- I think part of the reason there isn't an Asian sitcom out there is because no one's writing it! I've been telling myself to write one or at least start writing one for years but alas, I get distracted.

You should do it!

[Kendra]

Some times reader, first time commenter--You go girl! I guess that I live in a bubble (an ivory one at that, sorry), but I didn't realize that this crap still went on. I believe in you (not that you need me, I know) and get pissed when I hear this stuff. Your writing is great and you're smart. I think that there will be more people listening now, and they should!!!

[Beth Blecherman]

Thanks so much for putting things in perspective at that session. Especially when you said "Don't pretend that you read our blogs". I felt like screaming "Go Girl"!!!

And let's call out those "PR" firms to diversify their outreach of moms.

[Glennia]

When you said, "Asians don't clean..." I thought to myself, "except when we're cleaning other people's houses..." Have you noticed how every cleaning lady on TV or in movies is Black, Hispanic or Asian? I guess we don't buy the cleaning products, we just use them for other people.

I am so there for writing a sitcom with you, Stefania.

[Mocha]

Those of us who "get it" have a responsibility to explain it to those who don't and boy, are WE tired. Onward, my sister. Onward.

I join in because I both can and choose to do so.

[Momish]

I agree with Mom101 that you should start that sitcom!

I am glad you wrote about this as I too would never know that your two blogs were treated differently. That is very disheatening to know, although sadly it doesn't surprise me in the least.

Thank you for speaking out on behalf of mommy bloggers in general and racially diverse mommy bloggers in particular!

[Jenny]

Margaret Cho has written about her sitcom that never really got off the ground back in 1994. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108693/)

http://www.margaretcho.com/blog/allamericangirl.htm

[PunditMom]

You really nailed it with your comments. Do we think they'll listen? Also, it was so great to meet you!

[Marriage-101]

As someone who actually works in PR (but doesn't pitch bloggers) I think I can shed some light on this. PR people are pitching you because they think your blog is influential. Your other blog may not be as high in rankings/comments and so doesn't appear to be as influential at first glance. It has nothing to do with race, but more to do with popularity. PR people only have so much time and the blogosphere is HUGE so they go for the biggest, most influential blogs, dependant upon the product/issue they're pitching. If your other blog gets just as much traffic/comments as this one, then you're right, there is a bigger problem at hand.

[Juliana]

Marriage101, you are just confirming what Citymama is saying about your field. Read again what the PR guy said to her at the conference.

[LawyerMama]

I loved, loved, loved your comments in more than one of the sessions! Thank you for speaking up.

I guess that PR guy was trying to be "honest" with you, but ouch. I mean, you already knew the truth, but to have it confirmed like that probably still feels like a slap in the face.

[mothergoosemouse]

Like Liz, I will vouch for one of the PR guys. But given how many fake-sounding emails I've received lately congratulating me on my pregnancy - not to mention all of the past emails that were dripping with BS - I don't blame you one bit for taking him to task. Blogger outreach in general is laughable, but blogger outreach to minorities is nearly non-existent.

That's one reason that Kristen and I have sought to include a wide range of bloggers in the Parent Bloggers Network. We'd love to hear from any minority bloggers who would be interested in talking with us about becoming part of the network.

[Violet the Verbose]

Why do advertisers think they have to pitch differently to minorities? Do they? If they're pitching to mommybloggers, then they're pitching to women who have children. And across all cultures, doesn't that make us all the same in those two things? Forgive me if I'm being ignorant, but I just never imagined it would take so much thought that they would simply leave people of color off their list. That's ridiculous. And if they're that concerned about doing it right, why don't they ask the people of color/racial minorities who work in their companies?