The one about the comments

When I wrote my post about how I got my start in problogging and if there was anything you wanted to know, I promised to follow up with a post about comments.  And why you shouldn't stress if you don't get many. Or any. Of course comments feel good—who doesn't love being appreciated? Just saying that if you're the type of person that needs lots of "strokes," make sure you have other places to get them. I have never felt that comments were a good indicator of how many people are reading your blog.

My thoughts on the matter are my own opinion, but here goes.

After last year's wildly popular NaBloWriMo, in which legions of bloggers pledged to write every day for the month of November, I noticed that my comments dropped off sharply. I chalked it up to the fact that so many bloggers were writing so much that people were overwhelmed with reading and had no time to comment. Not to mention the time it takes to write all those posts. I suddenly realized where all the commenters went: they were writing their own posts and reading all those others.

Maybe NaBloWriMo blew up people's RSS readers. It's just a theory. Was my comment decline all NaBloWriMo's fault? No. But it sure got me thinking about where my commenters were going. I think that, combined with so many people reading blogs through feed readers (like Bloglines or Google Reader), helped to make readers out of commenters. And why not? I pretty much only read blogs through my reader, and you can't comment unless you click on the blog and open a new window. (I don't have time to do that, and I don't think I'm alone.) Having said all that, there are just so many blogs now anyway that it's difficult to keep up with them all.

Also regarding my comment decline, I wondered if perhaps my "story" had run its course with readers. I know I feel that way about blogs I've read, and I do believe that some blogs (mine included) just run their course (which is why big changes are around the corner, hinthint). Did I go through a particularly dark and depressing period? Readers no likee. Did my angst about our house not selling turn readers off? Could be. Was my content uninteresting? (I know not everyone loved Rockstar Supernova like I did...) Everyone's taste is different. All of these things and more add to why people may not comment, and you have to try not to worry too much about pleasing everybody. You're not gonna, and frankly, that sucks all the fun out of blogging.

Also mid-to-late last year, spammers got particularly clever and awful. Suddenly people were turning on comment authentication to prevent spambots and sploggers from wreaking havoc their sites. For me, comment authentication—with those alpha-numeric combinations that I find impossible to read and never get right on the first pass —is another barrier to commenting.

And as Mary, Lia, Charlene and I discussed over a pre-BlogHer blogger dinner last night, some people are readers and some people are commenters.  I lean toward the reader category; I read so many blogs every day that it's hard for me to stop and comment.  I think about commenting a lot, but don't do it.  When people comment on my blog, though, I always take time to shoot an email back (my comments are copied to my email inbox). I figure if people are taking the time to comment, I want to show them my appreciation.

Lastly, I want to say that if you are worried about comments (or lack thereof) don't be. Think about your intentions. For whom are you blogging? You know that expression "dance like no one is watching?" Well, I say, "Blog like no one is reading." One of the best feelings I know is stumbling across a blog where someone has been writing their a-- off for months in relative obscurity, and you find yourself among the first few readers to have the privilege of reading their words. Ultimately, your blog is you. If people like what you're putting out there they'll read.  They may not always comment, but they'll read. If that's what you want.

Whaddaya think?

P.S. If you really want to know who is coming to your site, install Google Analytics and pay the most attention to how long people stay to read.

[overfed cartoon credit: dave walker]

Comments

[Melissa]

I've read your blog for a while now as well as reading others. I harly ever comment, but i really like your stories, your kids are adorable,and blogs have replaced most of my previous online reading. I love reading memoirs, and people's real life stories in small magazines like the sun which has a readers write section. Blogs are like an ongoing readers write section. I also got turned on to other sites from blogs, including yours. Please keep up the stories.

[Lorraine]

ummm... I read every day but almost never comment...
Sorry!
I do comment on your blog - just not to you!
lol

[christine in portland]

yes! I read all your posts (as soon as my Blogline feed has it) but only comment when I feel I have something to add or contribute. I really enjoy your blog - keep posting!

[BabyWhisperingLoudly]

I like your suggestion about Google Analytics and will check it out. It seems like many of those site trackers are pretty inaccurate in different ways. Do you find that? I may just not understand what the information that I am getting means. But I seem to get small glimpses of who's watching, but there is a lot of missing inforation too. Typepad's counter is totally random it seems on some days. Lately I feel the need to know just how people are getting to me...so I guess that means referral information. Is GA good for that?

And Technorati is another one that I'm not quite understanding how it works. I'm listed under three different URL's and I have no idea how to remedy it.

And have you gotten your Beastie Boy tickets yet?

[honglien123]

I used to be a commentor but now that I read more and more blog, I've become more of a lurker. I've been reading you for a little over a year now and love your posts. Sometimes I think that my blog has run its course too (and I've only been at it for a year), but it's not that I've run out of things to write about, rather, the rate of major and minor developments have slowed down.

[Green]

Sometimes I read and am interested but simply have nothing to say. Sometimes you or whoever I'm reading is writing about something I know nothing about (Rockstar Supernova). Sometimes something I read pisses me off so much I know I shouldn't comment.

If I've commented and then see my comment was deleted for no reason apparent to me, it turns me off from ever commenting again.

And sometimes I just can't read your damn authentication thing and I give up.

But here's my comment that's not about commenting: I'm ready for a new picture at the top of your blog. :) Thank you.

[Gwen]

I hardly get time to blog let alone comment, but I do read. :)My 2 year old keeps me busy.

[Andy]

I'm guilty of being a lame commenter. I read TONS and comment very little.

I also confess that I noticed a drop in comments right after NaBloWriMo and have even phished for comments by asking questions and advice.

I really like your attitude about writing like no one is reading and I really think I need to take that into consideration, afterall, that's the reason I started this whole blog thing anyway, and it's good to remember that.

Thanks.

[cryitout]

I'm reading way more blogs than I ever used to and also commenting much less -- unless something really grabs me.

And oddly, my traffic has jumped like crazy in the past few months, but my comments have dropped dramatically. Very weird, I think.

[twizzle]

I don't read very many blogs -- probably fewer than 8 -- and yours has always been one of my faves. I comment when I have something to say, which is fairly often. I do it because I hope that people will reciprocate... which sometimes happens.

Don't worry - you're still far from boring!

xo

[stephanie]

I find that as I get to know blogs and their writers I only stick around if I really start to like them. Kind of like they might be a cool friend, if we ever met. So, for these people that I truly like, I comment. It's fun for me to share their lives. Some of them comment back, some don't and I'm okay with that. I'm almost afraid what would happen if I had a ton of readers & commenters. Performance anxiety, I think. :)

I love your masthead. I wish I had the same photo with my 2 in it.

Oh, how I wish I was going to Blogher. sniffle.

[bmc]

i read very little and have reads yours since the jump. first blog i ever read. you were the one that inspired me and talked me into it. i commented more when i thought my opinion mattered more. but honestly, nobody gives a crap what i think. i do pat backs and toss out props for hot posts, and an occasional - wow, you seem down on your luck, how can i help? but i am such a spotty commenter that i just usually abstain altogether.

but of the few blogs i read (i too got blog fatigue and went on a blog reading fast. the overfed analogy is so true) yours is a favorite because i was there from a little bit after the beginning. it's like a great tv show that you catch from the pilot. of course it keeps you hooked. you know everything about the characters and you know the whole story.

blog glut is an issue if you try to read every single one of your commenters' blogs. finding a nice little tiered system of reading (which i get around to about every 6 months) is easiest to navigate for me.

i do think though, that commenting is a reciprocal thing. if you expect them, you should make them. everyone handles them differently. i used to email in response to every one, also. i should start doing that again. it's like a mini thank you note. bad me. good post.

can't wait til you unveil your big surprise.

[Mojo]

I love your blog, it got me started on reading many others, but yours is always the first one I read, every day. I think the first post I read was when you moved back to SF from Portland and posted about the moms you saw in your hood (and I lived near there many years, so I could totally relate!) I then went back and read everything you'd done from the beginning. I comment on your blog more than any of the others I read, but not every single time. Although, I have to admit, when I have commented, I didn't get an email from you? :-( I never actually expected one, but sure, as you say above, it's nice to get the recognition. Won't stop me from reading or commenting in the future tho! :-)

[Izzy]

Sometimes I just read. Sometimes I comment. Generally, I only comment when I feel like saying something or adding my 2¢ and I think it's obvious from most of the ones I leave that it's not just a comment for the sake of a comment and I hope that counts for something.

It was easy to comment on every blog when I only read about twenty of them but now I read so many (well over 100), it's impossible to keep up that same pace and still be sincere. So I don't try :)

[Busy Mom]

Lurkers? *raises hand*

[Mom101]

I love your last line. I feel that way too about finding new blogs. It's like virgin snow and I'm making a crunchy new footprint.

[bombaygirl]

I guess you stopped "shooting an email back" to commenters a while back, because I don't think I ever got a response from you on any of the comments I left! ;) No worries...I still read your blog, and comment when I think I can contribute something.

[middleagedmom]

Yours was the first blog I ever read and I was hooked! I enjoy reading your Family Food blog too. I have yet to try any recipes but it did spur me to purchase Matisse and Jack's Bake at Home Energy Bars. I don't always agree with everything you write but I enjoy reading your thoughts. I am a mother of a 2 year old and am expecting my next child in a few months. Your children are adorable! Keep blogging and I'll keep reading!

[Stefania/CityMama]

I do try to respond to everyone. Really I do!