Since we're talking high school reunions

I went onto the site provided by the reunion committee only to discover (to my shock, horror, and secret delight) that next to everyone's name is their senior portrait.

Hello, CityMama circa 1987!

Two quick observations: 1) I forgot I used to have clavicles. 2) Why did no one know about brow waxes back then? Why did it take the fall of the Soviet Union for the Russian ladies to share their secret with the world?

Let's break it on down for all the "look-at-how-ironically-vintage-I-am!" 80's retro afficionados. I mean, if you want to achieve "the real thing," you need to listen to someone that was there when it happened. There was nothing ironic about this look, honey. And if you want to be authentic, pull up a chair.

First, you need to get a perm, and I'm not talking no Aveda vegetable perm either. I'm talking about a nose-clearing, can't breathe, could also be used to strip varnish perm. Preferably a root perm on top with a spiral perm for the bottom. 

Then you're going to need to buy five essential hair styling tools:

• a pick (You never brush your perm, you pick it to keep the curls intact.)
• hair gel (Duh, 80's. I used KMS gel purchased in quart-sized pump containers at Peninsula Beauty Supply, of course.)
• a diffuser
• a curling iron
• a can of hairspray (my preference was Sebastian Spritz Forte, we've talked about this before)

Procedure. Wash and condition hair, preferably with a shampoo with a cloying, floral scent, like Finesse or Agree. Then, while hair is still damp, apply gel; only then can you achieve that perfect glossy "crunch." Dry hair carefully using a blowdryer outfitted with your diffuser. Do not frizz the curls. Curl bangs with curling iron making sure that some bangs curl up and back and some curl under and down. Use your pick to facilitate a cloud-like consistency. If it's not working, brush them out and begin again. And again. And again. (Yes, bangs are the only part of your hair that will ever touch a hairbrush.) Once your perfectly frothy wall-of-bangs have been achieved, spray with hairspray to set. And then spray again just to be sure they will. not. move.

The funniest thing about this photo to me is that I remember thinking that it would be a timeless classic. Everything was a carefully thought-out decision down to my subtle Mary Kay frosty pink lip gloss. Sweet sixteen birthday pearls never go out of style, right? I know people that showed up for their photo with shaved heads or all gothed out and I somehow was self-aware enough to realize that I might outgrow that look myself. Which is why I opted for Ally Sheedy-chic.  I sure wish that same forethought applied to my hair.

This morning I gathered the girls around the computer to look at the photo. "Who's that?" I asked Wallie.  She was stumped.  Bunny guessed immediately that it was me and summed up up best by saying:

"Um, mamma? What's that black thing on your head? It looks like a wig."

...which I took as a compliment. Natch.

Comments

[badkitty]

Welcome to the Ally Sheedy High School Photo Fan Club! Also pearls, also pink sweater (mine had shoulder pads and cat-furlike angora,) also CLASSIC bangs that had not relationship to the rest of my head.

We were MTB BFF.

[Stefania/CityMama]

My "non-drape" photo was in a pink angora sweater. No shoulder pads, but yes boatneck. And 3/4-length sleeves.

MTB, 4 sure.

[erin]

Class of '89 representing here! Oh yes, the perm. My favorite (at the time) graduation picture was with the pink fluffy drape. Classic!

[Leah]

Oh I so remember doing the bangs! It used to take so many tries. And the spiral perm.

[L.A. Daddy]

Ah, what a cutie!

Lesse, you would've been a junior when I was a senior. I had my reunion last summer. Oy, I felt old...

We showed up the festivities and they had our senior pics on our name tags.

[Mama's Moon]

Thanks for this flashback! I'm off to find my yearbook for some SERIOUS reminiscing!!

[Kellyology]

Class of '88 here, and I had exactly the same hairdo! I'm going to try and find that picture....so funny!

[Christina]

Oh, I so remember the spiral curl perms and using gel to get that nice "crunch"! I'm amazed my hair didn't fall out from all the abuse.

[napwarden]

Now I am going to have to dig up my senior photo! I had total Pat Benatar hair, with a perm...Why?

[Camara Jacobs]

What the hell?! Who said they could do that? I'm afraid to go look at mine.

[nora]

OOH, I would have loved to get a perm like all the COOL GIRLS LIKE YOU in 1987! You are my hero (and clearly your mother loved you, unlike mine, who discouraged me from getting one). Was it so good? You know it was. I bet you wore an oversized belt on top of your untucked shirt, too. I'm green with envy.

[crazedparent]

Um, I think we're going to all have to post our high school photos because I think that about 90% of us will have senior pictures just like yours!!

[mj aka sugarmama]

lol...hey we had the same do! You are such a cutie!

I too was from the class of 87. I never thought those over-sized shoulder padded sweaters and mini boots would ever go out of style. Oh and those pendant pins to by the neck --- I wuved those!

[christina]

Damn, for a split second I thought you posted my own HS grad photo. You hit it on the dot with the hair. Class of '88 myself.

[Nicole]

Whoa, you remind me of so many of my friends in HS. My hairdresser blew my hair straight (and gave me a giant can of that hairspray as a college going away gift :). I thought I looked so great, but seems I was so airbrushed I barely resembled myself.

[JB]

You are 2 sweet 2 B 4 gotten. Go class of '87!

[maddy]

Awww...you look adorable!

[Heather]

Oh my god--so cute. Class of 88 here. I for one had a vat of Dippidy Doo and sported an assymetrical cut in my senior photo. It looked awesome with my Laura Ashley frock...

[Nancy]

That's a great picture!
Class of 1987 4-evah!

[MetroDad]

AWESOME! Nice to see you were sporting such a rocking look. I'll have to dig up my old 80's photos where I look like a cross between Oingo Boingo and Sonny Crockett. God bless the 80's!

Class of '87 represent, yo!

[Julie]

What about Aussie Sprunch Spray. Got I can still smell that stuff.

[Ariel]

Julie, I was a fan of Aussie Sprunch Spray myself. That cough syrup scent is vivid in my memory. And I had a bangs-only perm. It was rad.

[Andamom]

OMG that was hysterical -- a true blast from the past. I had a roomie in '90 that would flip her hair down and spray with Aquanet to achieve bang height -- she'd also tease them to get them even higher.

As for me, I remember my friend "Hades" perming my hair -- which was a bit ironic given that I have naturally curly hair. I needed gel to keep it intact.

Sadly, I rarely have the time or inclination to even think about my hair these days... Sometimes I leave it down before pulling it into its inevitable pony-tail -- but usually I just sweep it up. It is my daughter who spends decades in the bathroom straightening her bangs because they have to be PERFECT!

[Jill Asher]

Digging this picture, BIG TIME!!! Guess what, my hair was even bigger then yours! This Jersey girl had frizzy, curly, JOISEY HAIR!!!

Your buddy,
Fellow class of 1987
Jill

[Donna]

I think you looked adorable. But then again, I'm the one who keeps telling everyone I miss my 80's perm (because I didn't have to deal with blow drying my limp and lifeless naturally straight hair).