Because I needed something to talk about at BlogHer Business

Edited to add new information. Scroll down.

As some of you may know, Johnson & Johnson is throwing an all-expenses paid blogger junket featuring spa services pampering and celebrity photo-ops in the beginning of April. About a month ago, some of mah blog sistahs started emailing me asking if I was going. The answer? No. I wasn't invited.

I had already solidified my plans to speak at BlogHer Biz and I knew the dates overlapped. Plus, I don't have a baby anymore so I didn't think much of it.

Until last week when I got three different emails from three different people (over the course of 2 days) asking if I'd like to attend Johnson's Baby Camp.

Then after a day or so went by and I hadn't responded, I got another email telling me that I had better hurry up and RSVP since the camp was filling up.

So finally, after working out all the childcare and travel logistics (Johnson's would have done well to have their camp on a weekend when their target audience didn't have to arrange childcare), I decided that I would be able to go after all, but would have to skip part of the camp to attend BlogHer Biz. I RSVP'd yes and was contacted by someone who said they'd help make all the necessary arrangements.

Then today, I was disinvited to Johnson's Camp with this to-the-point email.

Unfortunately, we can only accomodate those who registered to arrive and leave within the parameters of Johnson's Camp Baby.

In other words, because I'm going to BlogHer, I'm SOL.

I totally get it. They are shelling out tons of money and a blogger mama who can enjoy the full pampering treatment deserves to go in my place. Trust me, I'm not crushed, I'm laughing. And I'm delighted that someone more deserving (and less mouthy?) will be able to go.

Edited on 3/21 to add: Stop the presses! A mommy blogger (of color) emailed me today to tell me that when she declined, the J&J folks asked her if she could come even if it was just for "part of the event." This means what they told me about why I couldn't come isn't true. Not professional, J&J.

Those of you that are going, I have a little side project for you: I'd love to know how many bloggers of color attend Johnson's Baby Camp. Will one of you email me Twitter when you get there so I can have those stats for my Blogher Biz talk? (Or, if you are a blogger of color, let me know if you were invited.) Just curious.

Edited to add: I'm now hearing that people are being disinvited for a host of other reasons (one being: no slung babies allowed. Or breastfeeding babies.  Yes, at Johnson & Johnson. The baby company.) I fear this is another PR nightmare-in-the-making. Have you been disinvited? Comment away!

Sites linking to this post:

Mom-101 (Though to clarify, my feelings aren't "hurt" for being disinvited. I'm merely pointing out the lack of professionalism in this whole ordeal.)
Queen of Spain (a MUST READ esp. for PR people)
Moms Connected
Fake Plastic Noodles
Scobleizer
Maryamie/Maryam Scoble
Pop! PR Jots
Susan Getgood/Marketing Roadmaps
Flamingo House Happenings
Eye on Blogs (cbs5.com)
Contest for Moms
Media Orchard
Confessions of an It Girl
Loralee's Looney Tunes

Comments

[Her Bad Mother]

This really sucks - you'd think that they'd be sensitive to other obligations that mom-bloggers might have (not least, um, MOMMY obligations. I know the other story of which - I assume - you speak.

There'll definitely be some critical feedback on this.

[QueenofSpain, Erin Kotecki Vest]

I wasn't invited. Insert a WTF here, ;)

However the 'hair braiding' and 'girl talk' and 'Sassy & Sexy Mom Trends" is rather um...what's the word here...insulting?

[Dana]

I'm going and I'm nervous. Once while in the Bahamas my husband and I made a mistake and wound up in some high-pressure time-share sales pitch and we were both freaking out. I hope this doesn't have the same aesthetic, so to speak. I also hope that there's hooch.

[MammaLoves]

I ended up getting invited at the last minute and received the hurry up and reply email within two hours of the invitation.

I considered going to hang out with other bloggers, but I didn't feel like taking two paid vacation days for it.

I have to say Graco has such a good job of connecting with the mommyblogger community. Perhaps J&J could take some cues from them.

I can't wait to hear about the feedback we get from attendees.

[Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You]

I wasn't invited, but I'm not part of that ... upper echelon of Mom Bloggers, so I'm not surprised. I AM surprised, however, that they'd do something so obnoxious as to disinvite you. Have fun at BlogHerBiz though :)

[Stefania/CityMama]

MammaLoves, I agree about Graco. Thanks to the efforts of people like Lindsay Lebresco of Graco and Paull Young of Converseon, they have managed to build such goodwill in the blogosphere towards their company/corporate practices. They don't need to--they mostly preach to the choir in my case since my kids have been in contact with some Graco product or another since infanthood--but they do and that shows me that they truly care about their clientele. And that counts for a lot. (Plus, their corporate blog is really a great read!)

What these companies are missing is that personal relationships count. I am a total "people person." I love socializing/chatting etc. both online and off. Appeal to me as a person and that goes a long way. Treat me like a commodity (or like you see dollar bills when you look at me) and I'm gone.

[Michele]

I was invited, but declined because I'm going to BlogHer in July - and that will just about cap my vacation days (have to save them in case the kids get sick.) So, I was invited, but I declined.

[Mom101]

Why do I keep thinking of the Real Simple BlogHer party?

[rachel]

That is absolutely ridiculous. I'm still a newbie blogger, so I didn't get an invite, but I'll be very interested to hear what happens with this.

[becky]

No invite, but I'm not well known, either.

It'll be interesting to hear about the diversity (or lack of) in the group. I'd love to know what the other people were disinvited for.

[Suburban Oblivion]

Apparently I'm chopped liver, because I never even got an invite. :P

[Susan Getgood]

There is a disturbing level of brand arrogance in this whole thing -- starting with the hurry up, slots are going fast for you to agree to come listen to us talk about our products -- to the disinvitation.

Mom 101 and I are doing an "improve this pitch" panel at BlogHer Biz. Wouldn't be surprised if we perhaps mention this as something that could stand a little. :-)

[To Think Is To Create]

Not invited, but so hearing you on the "dollar signs" stuff. You'd think they'd understand that the whole point of grassroots marketing is..um...the grassroots' opinion.

[Stefania/CityMama]

Dawn and Rachel, we are all moms who blog. As far as I am concerned we are all in this together...and we are all "target market" as far as companies like J&J are concerned. We all control the purse strings...we have the potential to influence more than just the people who read our blogs...we are girl scout troop leaders, active in the PTA, we go to church or to sports activities or to book groups or to neighborhood association meetings...we have the potential to reach all kinds of people.

[David Wescott]

I am SO glad I had nothing to do with this.

Sorry I can't go to BlogHer and watch you present. (I have childbirth classes with my wife. woot!) But I hope every flack reading this goes and actually pays attention to you.

[cat/bad kitty]

OMG, these people are fools to mess with The CityMama. FOOLS.

They won't know what hit 'em.

[xiaolinmama]

I got the invite, but wondered how and why since my babies are no longer BABIES. Hmmm....
I had to decline due to work and lack of time (but it did sound like a fun excuse to hang with the girls). I got a weird auto response that didn't even ask why or if they were going to keep me on the list. It felt kinda yucky!

[Victoria]

All this (not the J & J thing, but the communication y'all have with each other) makes me a tad jealous. My girls are 13 and 8, and if there was a mommyblogger community as such when they were little (I started blogging in 2004ish, but it wasn't all that focused on parenting), I was oblivious to it.

But I really could have used it. Can I please send this discussion (and so many others here) back in time to Victoria, relatively isolated mama ca. 1994-2003, and tell that girl there's some righteously cool mamas out there? (wistful sigh)

[Chicky Chicky Baby]

I'm going but I admit I'm a little nervous about the whole thing. But I'll go with an open mind and hope for the best.

I am a little concerned about the lack of rhyme or reason involved in the invites, though. It doesn't make much sense.

[Christina]

I somehow got one of the invites - still not sure how - and I'm going. At the very least, it's a great chance to hang out with a group of women I love and respect.

I'm a little sad some of my favorite bloggers didn't get invites - how did they decide who should come? (And I want to know more about others who were disinvited - what happened?)

I'll admit to being a little nervous, too, because the activities seemed a little...fluffy? I mean, hair braiding? I'm all for wine and having a solid, honest discussion about products, but some of the girly stuff just isn't me.

I'm still hoping it'll be good, though, and I will have my trusty internet connection and Twitter to voice it all.

[Crunchy Domestic Goddess]

i wasn't invited either, but then again i tend to be anti corporations like johnson & johnson. perhaps they knew that? ;)
can't believe they uninvited you. classless.

[Busy Mom]

The same thing happened to me after I told them I had to wait to make plans after my husband got back in the country (he was out of town), and, they said that was OK.

[Busy Mom]

Oh, and I've never heard squat from Graco.

[Busy Mom]

I meant that I was declined after they told me I could come, not that I had to go outside the parameters of the conference.

I'll shut up now.

[Stefania/CityMama]

Busy Mom: GASP! What the fuck (pardon my french) do they expect? I had to check to see if I could get childcare...arrange for hubs to take an extra day off work...check to see if I could change my ticket that I already had...and once I did all that, I get disinvited. Way to be "family friendly," Johnson & Johnson.

[crazedparent]

I didn't get invited (unless it went to spam, probably not) and I wouldn't have gone anyway. I continue to be amazed and appalled at the lack of understanding these folks have for their target market. Hello, blogger? Will write about it? Good AND bad. Now they will learn and I'm sure you are going to get an apology within 24 hours, if you haven't already. "Come CityMama, PLEASE! WE BEG OF YOU!"

Graco -- also selective, I believe. I haven't heard from them since that initial SV party. Perhaps because I didn't blog about it?

[Gwen]

I do not have enough following to get an invite I guess. Ah, no maybe it is because I am Canadian, hmm, probably not.

I am hoping to get to Blogher this summer though. Just trying to find the extra cash.

[Coach Deb]

WOW!
What's up with THAT?!
not a smart move on their part eh?

I'll keep tabs on what's goin on
via your Tweets

[Leeanthro]

For those of you going (or those interested in who are), I set up a NaBloPoMo group (Yes, I know it's not November, but I already had a profile set up).

http://nablopomo.ning.com/group/johnsonscampbaby

I was invited and I think it's because I have a PR contact who I have done some reviews for, including a J&J product. I'm not questioning why, I'm just jumping at the opportunity to have something done for *me* for a change.

Yes, I think there is alcohol involved. (I'll be pumping and dumping, so you might see me totally tipsy after only 2 glasses of wine.)

And I actually would like to learn to braid if that's being offered. I am so not a girly girl, but I have a daughter who likes her hair long.

I think that because there was such high interest, that they only wanted people who could be there the entire time. And probably, if someone wasn't able to go on the tour of J&J, they were excluded, which only makes sense.

Of course we are going to hear about J&J products, they are footing the bill. But I don't think I would liken it to a time-share sales pitch.

If you are going-see you there!

[Amanda]

I got an invite several weeks ago. I waited on registering because I had some conflicts - mainly being my husband is waiting on a job offer and if he got that then I couldn't go. If he did not get the offer then I could go. I emailed to ask if I could tentatively register but no reply as of yet. I also got the hurry up and register email.

[sweetney]

i'm going... mostly to hang out with HBM and Izzy and a couple other people... oh and to ESCAPE MAH DOMESTICITY (at least for a couple days). and, yeah, all expenses paid? i'm in, man.

bummer about the disinviting, very NOT smooth move on their part, i'll be sure to say something to them personally about How To Not Be Assholes On The Internet And Alienate The Very Community You're Courting. While drinking their free booze and eating their free food, natch.

sorry we won't be hanging out, man. i was looking forward to gently stroking your hair and batting my eyelashes at you lovingly.

[Liz]

I was a little confused about my invitation - my youngest is six - but, my BlogHer roomie SoCalMom is going and I live in Jersey, I thought, why not?

Honestly, I was surprised to learn about your "dis-invite" since it does seem that companies are trying to reach out to moms who surf the internets.

Dis-inviting is bad form, regardless.

Good luck at BlogHer and hope to wave at you in San Francisco and then probably run away in fear, no doubt.

Being so awesome, and everything.

[mothergoosemouse]

Just posted my dis-inviting tale. I'll see everyone in SF this summer instead!

[Leeanthro]

I'm such as a**hole! I just e-mailed a few of you, not realizing that the little line is not separating the comments, but that it is part of the comment above it.

Sorry for any misunderstanding.

Can I blame it on "mommy brain?"

[Robyn]

Never got an invite. But from the sound of it, I should be glad.

As for those of you who would like lessons on hair braiding, I can totally show you how. Maybe we should have birds of a feather at BlogHer on hair braiding. I'm the Queen of the French Braid!

[motherbumper]

woah - that just makes me sad because I was really looking forward to hanging with my peeps and now something controversial and stupid on the corporate side has tainted the fun. I'm still going because it would be too hard ($$) to unarrange my child care but holy f**k - I won't let this lie - I want to understand how they think this will pan out in the blogger community - we talk - don't they know that? I won't buy or talk Real Simple b/c of what happened at blogher and I'm sure I'm not alone.

[Karen Sugarpants]

I was invited and declined simply due to the timing. Mid-week for Mama isn't exactly Mommy-friendly either. And after hearing yours and Julie's "un-invitations?" All the more reason not to go.
I'm with Motherbumper - we DO talk and write - Real Simple can suck it too.

[Michelle Z]

Oh I have to find out how to be an "In" mommy blogger! I could totally use a break from life.

But dis-inviting bloggers? Do they NOT realize this will show up on blogs?! Not smart.

[Loralee]

I'm so appalled I don't even know where to start.

Aha! I know! My OWN blog. (Not that my blog is big, but I do love for companies to realize that their bad behavior actually, um, has a few repercussions.)

[Lori Dolginoff]

Hi,

My name is Lori Dolginoff and I'm organizing and planning the Camp Baby program for Johnson's Baby. I'm very sorry you haven't had a good experience with our efforts, since that was never our intention. I'm sure you can imagine the amount of amazing women covering the topic of parenting on the blogoshere, and we're doing our best to invite a wide selection of women to our first ever program to Mommy Bloggers. While we truly worked to develop this comprehensive list, we might have missed a few along the way, which is unfortunate and not intended. The good news is we have learned about so many of you in the past few weeks.

We were pleased by how many bloggers responded to our invitation and we actually extended our program to add an additional 6 - at 56 bloggers. Unfortunately, at that point we had to close off registration, just like any conference, which we hope you will understand. I hope this experience doesn't take away anything that we are trying to do -- we'd be happy to focus on your efforts, too, with something special now or in the near future. We are inviting many experts to make sure this will be valuable to young mothers and also newsworthy. We can certainly provide you with any background information on the topics we are covering to ensure you get the same information we are sharing with the limited number of bloggers in attendance.

We also want to ensure you and clarify we are not offering spa treatments to attendees, but we are paying for their travel expenses. However, it is our policy as a company if any blogger decides to write about this conference, and they don’t have to, they must have full transparency with their consumers that we paid for the trip. We think that is extremely important and have written it in many of our materials.

Please know you can always reach out to us directly if you have any additional concerns. We want to listen and we absolutely value your opinions and insights, we’ve got a lot to learn from all of you. Thank you and I hope you accept my personal apology.

All my best,
Lori

[Erika Jurney, Plain Jane Mom]

I'm going. And I'll be Twittering (plainjanemom). 'Nuff said ;)

[sweetney]

glad to see they responded publicly. good on them.

[Sleeping Mommy]

The PR side of blogging, especially as a mother who blogs, has always fascinated me. It's changed quite a bit in the three years I have been doing this and it excites me to see the attention and opportunities given to moms online.

Hopefully other companies will learn from this.

[Liz]

A company apology - I'm sorry, but that IS the first time I've ever seen this happen and I've been blogging for 5 years, now - just, WOW!

[To Think Is To Create]

Am I the only one completely unsatisfied by this "apology"?

It addresses all the people not invited, but doesn't address Stephania's issue AT ALL.

Geez.

[holli]

I was just told if I don't find child care for Faith I'll be out.. and that's unlikely at this point. I can't take off during the week and leave Tom with Faith - hello??

[becky]

I've done event planning before and it's not easy. But did they really think this through? I understand they can't invite all of us. How they are handling the issues that arise though, is indicative of their planning ability. Okay, I need to just blog this so I don't leave a million comments here.

[mothergoosemouse]

The apology is kind (although boilerplate), but I fail to see how it addresses the invitations that were rescinded.

[Stefania/CityMama]

Hi Lori,

Thanks for reaching out. A public acknowledgement is much appreciated. However, my issue is not about who got invited and who didn't. Who you choose to invite is your business. My issue is with you extending invitations to bloggers and the rescinding them. Especially when you put so much pressure on us (me) to attend.

I understand that my spot should go to a blogger who is able to go the entire time. Really, I do--and I wouldn't want to take a spot from someone who really deserves it. My issue is with being treated so shabbily. It makes me think that you don't value relationships with bloggers at all, you are just looking for warm bodies to fill your seats.

-Stefania

[Jeremy Pepper]

Stefania, my issue with the whole situation goes to the basic premise of working with bloggers from a large corporate mindset.

Let's only do bloggers that fit into what we want to do, let's be half-transparent about it, and let's ignore them the rest of the time.

And, well, Lori is not fully transparent in what she does. She is more than planning the event, she's part of the communications team at J&J.

I get tired of writing about this on my blog. I get tired of talking about this to people. I am tired that PR - both internal teams and agencies - do not get it, do not want to invest in getting it, and just want to use the community.

[Jamie]

I am looking forward to attending this event, so I hate to hear that they have not handled some things very well and the conference hasn't even begun!

Quite frankly I could use a few days away, selfishly just for me. I've never had the opportunity to attend BlogHer and I just can't justify the airfare and related costs for going this year (I'm in Nashville so it wouldn't be cheap...heck we are still saving for our family vacation!)

I considered not going, as I've got to take off two and a half days from work, but I felt like I couldn't turn down a free trip sponsored by a such a well-known, albeit fallible, corporation. I'm looking forward to finally meeting some bloggers I've been reading for a long time.

It's a shame that there was miscommunication and mishandling on Johnson's end. With any type of event there are going to be screw ups, so J&J would be wise to make sure they don't further alienate any more bloggers and create a PR problem that is any more significant. We're a vocal bunch.

[sweetsalty kate]

They uninvited me as well, for having a nursing baby.

I was extremely unimpressed. Nice that she's backpedalling with the apologies all over blogs complaining about it, but all the reasons she gives for not allowing nursing mothers just don't make any sense.

[Marketing Mommy]

I was invited but declined because it is mid-week. Some of us blogging mamas gotta bring home the bacon.

[Dana]

I wasn't invited at all. In fact I never get these types of invites or blog pitches or advertising offers. I'm not important enough. It's disappointing, yet totally funny.

[Christine]

Mostly to my fellow commentators:
J&J is trying to handle all of this with tact… Let’s try not to be too hard on them, but look forward to future events that may be better planned!

That said, I am excited about attending this time and will miss you, Stefania!

[FireMom]

I'm still waiting for my apology. Apparently us little blogs don't matter. ;) Alas, Citymama, you fight the good fight for us. We tip our hat to you. ;)

[OMSH]

Here from mothergoosemouse and truly disenchanted altogether.

Obviously Blogher has babies in mind more than Johnson and Johnson.

Go figure, eh?

[SmockLady]

OK, so one more reason to question J&J and their biz practices. I came over via Miss OMSH and mothergoosemouse's post.

Nope, didn't get invited. But the Graco - would loved to known and been invited to that. I've got six children and have used lost of Graco products and would love a getaway.

Alas, not mommy-blogger upper echelon enough. S'alright.

[Jodi]

I'm going to Camp Baby - and am happy with the way Lori is handling things. But I've never heard from Graco!

[Julia]

Hi - Great post. Can I see a link to the email invitation/itinerary? I'm blogging about it over at Mamacita Me. Thanks!

[simplicity]

Bummer. No invite for me.

[TechMama]

Just add me to the "Going to BlogHer business" instead camp camp... Why did they plan them both on the same day?

[Lawyer Mama]

I'd heard about the Passover snafu, but not the disinvitations and the NO BREASTFEEDING BABIES thing! WTF?????

[Cool Mommy]

I wouldn't be so upset about not going! J&J's products are the best healthwise for your baby -- check it out
http://www.cosmeticsdatabase.com/browse.php?brand_id=1128&category=baby+lotion
http://www.cosmeticsdatabase.com/browse.php?brand_id=1128&category=baby+bubble+bath

[RookieMom Whitney]

I have an 8 month old, also bf'ing, so going without her would have been a hardship, not to mention making care arrangements for my 3 yo, but more of an obstacle to me was the lack of answer to my questions about why I was invited, what does J&J want out of my presence, and what do they think I will do afterward. Surely me blogging about it for two paragraphs would not justify the cost.

[RookieMom Heather]

Grrrr. That's total BS. Thanks for sharing.