Read it, Digg it, and if you are a PR person: Learn it

Cuz you just got schooled and your teacher's name is the Queen of Spain.

(I promise, I got, like, 7 really delicious recipes to share, but for now, this takes precedence.)

This is the take-away from the the Johnson's Baby Camp* mess-up. The take away is not "Why didn't I get invited?" or "Why are they raising a stink when the invite said no kids?" What Erin/QofS is blogging about is something that all women bloggers who get pitched need to understand: We are nothing to (many of, not all of) these companies except a resource or a commodity. We do their marketing work for them and we do it for peanuts. When they offer us stuff for free it's not because they are generous and they appreciate how hard it is to be a mom. That's what they might tell us, but it's not the underlying motive.

Somewhere back at that company there is a spreadsheet. And on that spreadsheet is an account number. An account number labeled "blogger outreach" or something like that. And marketing people and their managers got together and discussed just how big the budget was for blogger outreach should be. Then they hired a PR agency to tell them how they should spend that money. The probably decided to send you a bunch of crap. Or maybe they threw a party. Or a camp. And then they got together and decided what "success" for that program would look like. They might have agreed that if 10-15% of the bloggers they contacted blogged about their crap then that was "successful." And because it was successful, come budget renewal time, their managers gave them more money (plus a little extra, maybe) to do it again.

Hi, my name is Stefania, and guess what? Before I had kids I worked in...MARKETING.

So it's not because they think we're overworked and deserve a free yoga mat or box of snacks for our kids or a sample of detergent, "just cuz." It's because we are an essential part of their marketing plan. Accept the goods or services if you want, if it's something that will benefit you or you family—I do and it's my choice—but know that you have power, too. And if you don't like the pitch or the PR agency treats you shabbily, speak up.

Aren't we worth more than a free book?

*Be sure to check out the linked posts.

Comments

[QueenofSpain, Erin Kotecki Vest]

What? Wait...you mean you were something before you had these kids? AND you're something now? And you will be something after? No fucking way...how do I fit THAT into an excel spreadsheet?

[GeekMommy]

You mean *gasp* those breeding machines sitting at the keyboard might actually have brains, skills, careers and knowledge?? Who woulda thunk it?? /mocking-the-marketers

Seriously, if the guy sitting in the corner office with the VP on the plate had half an ounce of sense, they wouldn't use a PR firm or Marketer that wasn't intensely familiar with the community they are trying to co-opt into doing their advertising for them.

There's an irony to the number of smart, PR and Marketing savvy women I've seen blogging about these recent events any of whom would've been far more successful at interfacing with the MommyBloggers in such a way as to benefit both the companies AND the community.

[ma]

I'm a PR person and a MOM and an entrepreneur (I work as a consultant not an agency). I have to say that I take offense to your post. So all marketers and PR people are slime? Cause that's what you're basically saying here. I work really hard to stay ethical and honest and maintain good relationships will all media (blogger, reporter, producer, etc.). Most PR people and marketers respect the media - they know we need them, they know that media (again that includes blogs) are important and influential but looking at it that way is one-sided and not telling the whole story, let's be honest. Media needs information, news, new products and advertising to keep them alive (this includes blogs) from companies so it's a mutually beneficial relationship. So someone made a mistake, ok, can we move on now? As mom, I teach my son that everyone makes mistakes so forgiveness and understanding is important. Grudges aren't a way to make friends or build relationships. Ok, I'm done - sorry if I've offended anyone, I'm not out to do that but I've been reading this whole mess and enough is enough!

[melissaS]

I guess you can either take what they're giving and accept it for what it is. Or you can ignore those requests.

When I think it's worth my time, (or I can fill a need of my own with what I'm offered), I take it. When it's not worth my time or energy I don't take it.

But I never assume I'm getting something just because a company is kind enough to offer it.

It's business on both ends if you choose to think of it that way.

I'm really confused about this whole issue.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

Our stories and our relationships are powerful and desirable. THEREFORE, a simple product pitch is not going to be successful with us.

Certainly there are products, regardless of the pitch, that bloggers might say "sweet, I'll take it!" but when people send emails with press releases or just random contest announcements, it's very clear that a) they don't know the blog well and b) they don't know the blogging medium.

We're not news generators. We're telling stories.

Unfortunately, getting to know bloggers and their blogs takes time -- which = money for these agencies and they won't spare it.

That being said, I have had MANY positive experiences with PR professionals and well, some that have just plain sucked.

The key for me personally is to offer something of worth and interest, treat me with respect, and follow through.

And FOR GOD SAKES know the medium. That means read the blogs OR reach out to bloggers for HELP! There are plenty out there that do this for a living.

[Stefania/CityMama]

Ma, I am not saying all PR people are slime. There are lot of PR individual contributors, firms and companies that are doing it right. Many of the PR agencies that are doing are well are lucky to have staff that are bloggers so they understand the issues. Many companies that are doing it well take the time to build relationships with bloggers slowly and interact with them daily. Or several times daily.

This is not a grudge. I know it's an emotional issue, but I'm not about complaining without trying to make it better. Through all my ranting, I am trying to help PR companies talk to us in an effective and meaningful way.

Regarding your comments on media, many many bloggers would disagree with you. I have advertising on my blog, but many bloggers don't. I don't need anything from the media to write my blog. It started as me sharing my parenting stories (no media requires) and then me sharing my recipes. And then me sharing my political views. It's true, I consume media, but I don't need it to write my posts.

If you feel the way you do, chances are you are someone that "gets it."

[Alina]

I'm with MelissaS. I'm confused, as well. You write a blog. Media, per se, does not fuel your posts. You choose to display ads on your blog because you benefit from doing so, but you don't need to. That's all great. I'm just not understanding why you are so this is such and emotional isue for your and why you are offended by the way PR people are bumbling around trying utlizie bloggers in their work. Isn't that just something that you can take or leave as you wish?

[Stefania/CityMama]

MelissaS and Alina, I am so happy to have the opportunity to address these comments because I know there are bloggers out there thinking, "What's the big deal?"

I would clarify by saying this isn't an "emotional" issue for me, it's one that I am passionate about. I speaking out on this very subject as it pertains to bloggers of color at BlogHer so yes, I am passionately invested in this issue.

"Hey, it's free stuff! You can say no. No one's tell you to take it."

That's one way to view it. But it all starts with the pitch, and I easily get 20 a day. Some are great and from companies I am delighted to worth with (esp. companies started by moms). Some are horrible and impersonal or disingenuous.

When PR flacks start telling me (after I accept their offer) how and when to blog their product, or they read my review then ask me to change something or mention xyz, it crosses a line. When they hound me to attend their event, then tell me I can't go, that's not only not professional, but not how you treat people you want to "build relationships" with.

I can see how it might be confusing, but to me it's an issue I am passionate about...I know people are getting really emotional about it and it bothers them...but I'm not going to stop taking about it. Shoot, I'm speaking on this very topic at BlogHer, it's obviously an issue that is deeply important to me.

[melissaS]

But why not just ignore the ones that are stupid and disingenuous? I do that every single day.

I wrote to you about this but I'll put it here as well. What is the 'Mommy Blogger's" part in this? If you choose to participate in these media/marketing/PR offers, how can you help make changes in how we're approached and treated?

It seems, from what I'm reading, people don't want to be treated like free advertising or "Simple Mommies" but they also don't want to be treated like regular media.

IE: If the J&J camp were a regular press junket, if a newspaper reporter had another conflicting commitment I think they'd be quite likely to mention it at the time of the invitation.

Also the product expo is the last day of the event. They're supposed to entertain people and then let them head out before the 'real' reason for the trip?

No matter how nice these people are to work with, how much they 'get' the medium. You guys, this is business. You're dabbling in the business world and it may be wise to have that mindset. Maybe even to meet halfway with the marketing and pr people.

[ma]

Stefania/CityMama - I get it being emotional. And I really appreciate you responding to my post by the way. I just have to say that on our end, it's not easy (I've been doing this for 14 . We don't always get it right but the majority of PR people do try. Also, sometimes intentions don't meet up with actual outcome. That's why it's important to have an open line of dialogue so we can learn from each other. PS: I promise to not bombard you with product pitches! :-)

[pixie sticks]

I so seriously don't mean to make light of this, but from a very amateur perspective - I'd love to have enough traffic to ever be offered free stuff. In some ways, it's a nice problem to have and you're clearly savvy enough to wade through the crap and bad behavior. Good for you.

[Stefania/CityMama]

Ma, the PR industry is lucky to have you. I mean that.

Melissa--I rarely accept those offers as well, but if you accept one you seem to be on a list that you can never get off of. Kind of like telemarketing.

Apparently they are telling other bloggers that they can go for just part of the time. (see my orig post, I updated it with that info.)

I know people are excited to attend this thing--I'm not trying to rain on their parade. I was trying to attend and would have been there, too, but once I heard about all the other ways they flubbed this (not just as pertains to me) I still would have blogged it. I'm not blogging it because I'm not going--I know you didn't say or imply that, I'm just pointing out that this situation is messed up and is endemic.

Maybe if people stopped accepting offers they would stop, or maybe if bloggers blog about it they will stop. I tend to believe that they won't stop (or change) until more bloggers speak out.

[melissaS]

I get them and I throw them out. All media gets lots of stupid and BS press releases and pitches. It's just part of the deal.

I hope you'll consider my suggestion, or someone else takes it. Make a blog where you share those pitches that are annoying, dumb, whatever. Share them and explain why they won't work for most bloggers.

As bloggers I think we all have to define what we are and are not willing to do for marketers and pr people. It will be different for everyone.

That way you never have to be pissed off.

[SFMA]

This is quite off-topic, but I just want to point out that J&J product is the most unnatural you could choose. I only mention this now b/c many of you are passionate about being both body and environmentally friendly. Also, knowing how influential all of you awesome mommy bloggers are, I thought you should be aware that this info is out there (while I'm sure it's controversial). These products contain various chemicals, carcinogens, and "penetration enhancers" that could be harmful to our precious little ones. I used many of these products when my son was born mostly because I love the smell and trusted the brand name. But as I've done more research, I've moved on to some others I'm more comfy with. Just fyi. If interested, you will find more info googling.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

Don't toss them out. Send them to Parent Bloggers Network.

While some don't want to be educated, some really do and just don't get it.

We're happy to help them figure it out.

[jonniker]

Honestly, I spied this whole brouhaha via a GoogleShare from Zoot and I'm ... I'm really surprised. And I want to say that I love MelissaS's comments on the topic, for she's articulating my feelings brilliantly.

As said to QoS, I've been on all three sides of this coin -- as a professional journalist, PR flack and now, blogger -- and I'm mystified at the ... entitlement is too strong a word, perhaps, but that's the general idea ... that I've seen around this issue, and around PR/marketing to bloggers.

I GET that you all want to be marketed to appropriately -- really, I don't think that's a lot to ask necessarily -- but there seems to be more at stake than meets the eye, and I'm not sure what it is that's so upsetting. Frankly, as I said to QoS, this issue is ages and ages old -- journalists have been dealing with shitty, shitty PR people who have committed far worse sins than J&J has done here since the beginning of time. What you describe as unprofessional is actually par for the course, I'm sorry to say. And further, there are many who are complaining about being treated unprofessionally by corporations, then turn around and behave themselves in what can only be describe as an unprofessional manner to those same corporations. What you all are describing is, on many levels, business.

Your frustration at them crossing the line as to telling you when/how/why to post if you accept something or talk to them is just part of the deal, I'm afraid. It happens to me daily, but again: it's not personal. Just say no to the deals you don't like, take the ones you want to take, and do your own thing. That's what journalists do, otherwise we'd never have any credibility at all.

I think that in many ways we're making the assumption that corporations are being naive in dealing with bloggers, when in fact, in some cases, bloggers are the ones who are being naive in their understanding of how corporations work, and just how far their willing to bend to make bloggers happy (hint: not that far).

To some degree, you have to accept that and modify your own behavior accordingly, rather than expecting giant conglomerates to change for you.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

I think what's so bothersome is that we're a bit different than journalists and typical media outlets.

When PR folks pitch us, they're asking us to put something in as part of our content -- which is highly personal. That's why they're so effective (I'm preaching to the choir here, I know!).

It's not like I'm writing about articles on bath soap every day and it just happens to fit.

Those pitches work well (or not) at Cool Mom Picks, or other blogs that are set up in that manner.

But these folks are asking us to fit their product or whatever INTO our content somehow for nothing.

Yes, we can say "no," and many of us do, but I think it's the arrogance that people have when they say "here check this out put this in your blog for nothing because we have no money to buy an ad" that bothers many of us.

I don't think it's too much to ask for PR professionals, etc. to KNOW who they are pitching. Um, isn't that part of their job?

[mothergoosemouse]

Yes, it's business. Yes, it's our responsibility to pick and choose what's worth our time and what fits within our content.

But to rebut Jonniker's point above - that we should modify our behavior rather than expect "giant conglomerates" to change for us - THEY are the ones approaching US. They want us to spend our time and use our space for their benefit. There's no reason why we shouldn't expect to derive some benefit as well. THAT'S business.

As I've posted before, one of the biggest companies out there - General Motors - has knocked my socks off with their blogger outreach efforts. Respectful and accommodating, they're getting positive feedback from a wide range of bloggers, even those from sites like Treehugger and Worldchanging. That's effective blogger outreach.

Finally, check out this site - http://www.bloggersandpr.com - where you'll see that PR firms do care about improving blogger outreach, and they're open to our feedback.

[jonniker]

MGM, I think what you just said is precisely why I'm so mystified by this whole thing. By "get something out of it", what do you mean?

I'm genuinely asking here, because so much of what I hear is that bloggers can't be bought (usually said with a sideways fingersnap) and then, on the other hand, there are people complaining that they didn't get a free trip/stroller/minivan. If I were a corporation, I would be hella confused. I'm a BLOGGER, and I'm confused and utterly confounded.

It's such a mixed message, you know? And the confusion around it doesn't do a hell of a lot to bolster the credibility of bloggers who DO write about products, because it implies they did so for cash and/or prizes, rather than a genuine belief in what they're writing about.

[jonniker]

I'd also like to add that companies *always* do the "here put our product in your paper because we have no money for ads" to journalists, too. And nope, they never bother to read what I write or where I write or even get my name right, either.

It's really not as different as people think, it's just that bloggers take it more personally, near as I can tell. And it's most definitely not personal, I guess is the best point I can make.

[mothergoosemouse]

Well, I for one can be bought - at the right price, of course. ;)

Seriously though, I'd chalk it up to differences in bloggers' philosophies on blogging. Product reviews, pay-per-post, corporate-sponsored junkets - there's such a wide range of PR overtures that are made and accepted, it's difficult to quantify what's an "acceptable offer" from blogger to blogger.

That said, I think there are some consistent complaints from bloggers that are simply bad PR/business practices - not addressing a blogger by name (when their name is easily found on their "About" page), and pitches that don't ask but merely assume the blogger will write about the subject product/service/contest/event.

But like Kristen said, don't toss them - send them to us at PBN. We attempt to convert even the clumsiest pitches, and occasionally we succeed.

[Susan Getgood]

Like Stefania, MGM and MU, I am very passionate about this topic. As a marketing person, I am frustrated beyond belief at the clumsy blogger outreach efforts done by many. Agencies/companies are extending an already broken model of media outreach and extending it to bloggers, where it is even more broken. Why? Because a journalist is by definition an intermediary, whereas a blogger is your customer. Not a disinterested 3rd party. Your customer. I see behaviors/pitches etc that just send my blood pressure through the roof because I cannot imagine why a company wants to treat its customer this way. And it is so often dumb mistakes that could be avoided with a little more practice in walking in someone else's shoes.

As Stefania points out, doing a blogger outreach program is a business decision for the company. They decide that this spend, whether it be free product or a super-glitzy event or whatever, will be a good return on investment. It's not philanthropy.

And by the same token, bloggers make their own business decision on how to use their property --their blog. To attend, to write, to criticize, to review the product.

In the end though I do believe that the greater responsibility is on the company. Because it is your customer you are talking to.

[Meagan Francis]

Forgive me if this comes across as glib, but, well, is anyone really surprised that these companies view moms, and by extension mom bloggers, as a commodity? Surely we didn't think that they were sitting around dreaming up fabulous trips for us just out of the kindness of their hearts?

Stefania, you said: "We do their marketing work for them and we do it for peanuts."

Yes, and what I see here is a whole bunch of bloggers who were only too happy to accept the opportunity to do their marketing work for them until they found out they couldn't go on this trip for whatever reason. I get oversaturation and I get the frustration of clumsy PR attempts (I get many, many, many per day). But the extent to which this has been personalized (not necessarily by you, Stefania, but just in general) in this particular case seems to be stemming from disappointment and even hurt feelings because THIS trip didn't work out for a number of people.

If they'd decided to change things and allow moms to bring babies or get around other obstacles, would it really materially change what they were "offering", or their ultimate goal in targeting mom bloggers, as you astutely describe in your post? If so, how? And if not, then why was anyone willing to go on the trip in the first place?

Was the blunder a bad PR move? Absolutely. But if they had gotten it right, some of the same mom bloggers now complaining about being over-marketed to would have gladly gone on the trip and blogged about it.

Color me confused. I don't look at the PR-blogger relationship as "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours". As a blogger my obligation lies with my reader; just as a PR person's loyalty lies with his/her employer or client. If I think a product or trip fits my goal of bringing good information to my reader, I'll take it, if I don't, I won't. Nobody owes me anything, and if they are somehow "making it worth my while" to pitch their product, beyond introducing me to worthwhile information to pass on to my reader, then yeah. I've been bought. It sounds like some are implying that you can both be "wooed" by a PR company and still remain true to your reader and self, and I think that's treading dangerously slippery ground.

[Meagan Francis]

Susan, I hear you, but journalists are also human, just like bloggers are, in their own way (and sometimes hugely commercial ways) also a form of media. I'm a journalist, but I'm also a customer, and I can't pretend that my experiences with companies don't color the way I might treat them in a story in some way, even if it's a subconscious bias. And for some, blogging is more like a relationship or a conversation than anything, but I don't think we can pretend that a blogger who gets thousands of hits and runs ads is quite the same animal as somebody sitting around and chatting with her girlfriends. Blogs are public by design.

[Stefania/CityMama]

Meagan, I think this trip would look A LOT different if (as Susan Getgood so expertly put it) they took the time to understand their audience. I wouldn't have thought to blog this if they had gotten it right. An invite would have hit my inbox and I would have ignored it (as usual) since I already had my BlogHer plans. But then the email barrage happened and because of that, I have no problem pointing out that this whole flap could have been avoided.

Sure there would still be the "why didn't I get invited" folks but that is par for the course and so NOT what my concern is. Yes, they feel hurt and are being vocal and quite frankly I think that distracts from the point I am trying to make.

The bottom line is, J&J didnt take time to understand their customer. I don't care that I am not going--but if you don't want me there, don't contact me from all sides, pressure me into rsvping then tell me--oops I can't attend. Don't go back and forth with me about a ride from new jersey to NYC when you are flying people first class to the event. People that said "NO" and then were offered first class tix as an enticement. And BTW, they have since told other bloggers that coming part time is OK. Again, i don't take it personally. It's way beyond that. It's about being professional and acting professionally.

I am 99% done discussing the "emotional aspects" of this issue. You aren't the first person to leave a comment about how you don't understand why people are getting so upset...people *but not me,* y'all are so quick to clarify (and I do appreciate it). I encourage you and others who are asking the same question to take it up with the commenters directly and, please, leave me out of it. That issue is not my issue.