CityMama™

Wall-to-wall peace and quiet

When I was in high school, I read All the King's Men and was most fascinated by the main character's (Jack's) periods of "Great Sleep." These were phases in his life where he was basically unable to deal (and possibly depressed), and either slept all the time or just plain idled the days away until he snapped out of it.

Since moving into our new place, I feel like we're coming out of a Great Sleep and the most tell-tale sign for me is that we are all sleeping better. The last year seems to have been characterized by kids who would get out of bed a thousand times after being tucked in to ask for water or complain about growing pains or to whine about being too hot or to see what we were doing. Getting them to bed most nights was a chore. By morning, both of them would be in our bed and I'd be woken up far in advance of my alarm by a tiny fist to the dome or by two girls quietly fighting about who gets to "lie next to Mamma."

Our new apartment is carpeted, which means it is quiet. Really quiet. It is so quiet you'd think we lived in the country, not an urban complex with 12 other units around us. We've always lived in houses and apartments with hardwood floors. In San Francisco, carpet can be the kiss of death for an apartment. Unless the building or location is stellar, good luck renting that!

I love the ease of care of hardwood floors especially when you have kids or pets, but man, I never realized just how loud and echoey they were until now.  Our house is so quiet that we can watch a Jerry Bruckheimer action film at a maximum explosion volume and we won't wake the girls. It is so quiet that the girls can be fighting over their Groovy Girls in their bedroom and I can't hear them in the kitchen. (Groovy, indeed!)  And I have to say that waking up to soft carpeting underfoot feels pretty dang luxurious.

Carpeting has done wonders for our sleep. (And maybe the pool has, too.) The girls crash hard at bedtime, sleep all night (even Wallie who usually gets up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom), and I have to wake them up in the morning. That hasn't happened since, like, ever.

I pad to bed, fall right to sleep, and I swear, I don't move all night. Once asleep, I am gone, and I am usually a pretty light sleeper. We are all sleeping better, and it's about time. I realize now, we were overdue.

Carpet, right now, I am your biggest fan. So far, you are doing everything right.

Meal planning (and blogging) on hiatus until after we move

Yes, it's true, we are moving again.  But you've come to expect that from us, right?

This time the move is just a few short blocks away and all for a very good reason.  We are downsizing to save money because, among other things (like maybe, possibly buying another house someday) I am starting a company. With two incredible partners. And we're self-funding it. We're so excited we can't even stand it and will be sharing more very soon.

Start a company? In this economy? Those are two questions you might be asking yourself. The answer is, "Yes!"  As freelancers, the three of us have been so amazingly busy, that in order to take what we do to the next level, it made sense to join forces. We want to be sensible about how we go about this, and we are all making sacrifices. So move we must so that I can focus on making our little company a success.

The coming week brings many changes: A new abode. Our first company off-site. The finalization of our LLC and our logo. As a result, I am working harder than I ever have and am not cooking much.  So no real meals until after we move.  I'm just thankful that my mom is here and we can duck over to her house for some home-cooked goodness.

P.S. Need an indoor grill or a panini press or a new toaster or a blender for whipping up some pomegranate margaritas? Check out my Breville giveaway!

Weekend in Southern Oregon: Antiques and Wineries

I went up to Southern Oregon with a couple of girlfriends—and no kids, woohoo!—this weekend.  Our goal was to check out the annual antiques fair in the hopes of scoring some excellent, tax-free finds.  My personal goal was to have a tamale at the Southern Oregon Grower's Market (mission deliciously accomplished), to relax after a couple of very busy weeks, and to spend time with my brother and his kids which is always a pleasure.

The antiques fair was well-worth it despite the searing heat.  We all found lots of treasures for not too much money.  My favorite find was a copy of Conran's The House Book published in 1974.  I was eyeing my parents' worn copy at my brother's house and even asked him if I could borrow it. Not necessary!  The next day, Alisyn found a copy (with cover!) on an antique store book shelf and after negotiating a 10% discount, it came home with me. 

My brother gifted us moms with belated Mother's Day gifts-- tickets to the Applegate Valley wineries' barrel tasting event so we spent Sunday afternoon at Wooldridge Creek, Troon, and Schmidt wineries tasting their selections.

On Monday we were back on the road heading down I-5 hoping to make it home before school got out, which we did. I came home to a nice, clean house (thanks, J!) and a two hour power nap. It was a great time.

Here are some of my favorite pics from the weekend:

Saturday night dinner: grilled veggies and grass-fed tri-tip from the farmer's market and wild, local salmon caught in the Rogue River by my sister. The yellow bowl holds grilled spring onions, garlic, and jalapeños.

At the Antiques Fair.

20% off Bauer bowls in my favorite colors...

Of schedules and routines

We've always been a pretty routine-oriented family. From a set bedtime routine that has been the same since both kids were babies to our habit of having coffee and pastries at the mall every Saturday when the weather is nice (it's an outdoor mall that is very pretty and pleasant) to Sunday mornings spent moving from one hippie church activity to the next until lunchtime, we're kind of set in our ways.

 The hardest times for me are the after school to bedtime hours, I know these hours are hard for a lot of stay-at-home parents. They are especially tough for me as a work-at-home parent because I am interrupted so many times during the day by appointments or phone calls or school volunteering or school picks-ups that oftentimes I'm not even really getting rolling with work until after lunch.  The afternoon is also when I try to schedule all my calls, something I may have to revisit.

We have after school activities that fill an hour or two here or there, but for the most part, we've been playing those hours fast and loose. And it's been a problem.  Left to their own devices, the girls will play for a while and then eventually start getting on each other's nerves. Then the day ends on a bad note where everyone is frustrated and pissed off at each other.

In this economy, love thy neighbor

One evening about a month ago, I received a phone call from a woman who attends my beloved hippie church asking me how I was doing and if I wanted to talk to our beloved minister about any issues relating to the economic downturn. (I realize that's a lot of "beloveds," but this place and the people in it are my rocks.) She was reaching out to all the members of our community to ask if we were facing a job loss or home foreclosure or anything else that might be causing financial hardship. She also let me know about a new group forming at church—the "Recession Riders"—and that its members were planning on weathering the economic storm together.

I've heard people saying that the area I live in is "recession proof." Restaurants are packed, people are out and about doing their thing, but I wonder: when it gets worse, and it will, will this area crash that much harder? How many people in my community are barely keeping it together or putting up fronts or needing help but are too afraid to ask?

When I was your age we played outside, and our parents didn't care what we did, and we liked it that way.

My brother and I were talking recently about our childhood recently and about how much of it was spent outside playing absolutely, positively unattended by parents (or any adult for that matter).

When we lived in Hawaii, we lived near the top of a windy, rain-foresty, mountain road called Tantalus Drive. Our house overlooked a valley and was surrounded by acre upon acre of barely-tamed forest. (The view in the photo is similar to the view from our house.) Trails led up and away from the house into the woods and we would explore for hours. And hours. We'd drag our Big Wheels and bikes up up up those trails, which were lined with eucalyptus trees, carefully align them at the top of the trail and then ride them all the way down peddling as fast as we could. We'd do this over and over again. Sounds fun, right?

Dear Cyber-Bullies, Your moms are on Facebook

Last week, a dear friend of mine emailed me a link to Facebook "hate group," created about her son. After getting over the initial shock which included my heart breaking into roughly a thousand pieces, several thoughts ran through my head:

"Who are these kids?"
"Why would they do such a thing?"
"Do their parents know?"
"Why weren't more kids posting comments that this was wrong?"
"Who do I know at Facebook (which is headquartered five minutes from my house)?"
"How do I get this taken down?"

I knew my friend was very upset, but strangely, the person I knew who would emerge from this "okay" was her son. Of course, I felt protective of him, but he's just in a different world from people like that. Did I want to throttle those kids? Yes. Would I feel like an absolute failure as a parent if I knew my kids ever did something like that? HELL yes. But their intended target is one of the most sweet, brilliant, and together kids I know. If anyone could come out of this looking at the bigger picture, I knew it was this amazing boy. The person I was most concerned for, one mother to another, was my friend.

Blogger, Marketer, Mother: My revised take on the "making money while blogging" thing

Last week I had the pleasure (and truly, it was a pleasure) of attending the Mom 2.0 Summit in Houston, a gathering of marketers, new media-types, and blogging moms. The main reason I wanted to attend the conference was because it was less bloggy and more "marketer-y." Don't get me wrong, I love attending the conferences that focus on blogging, but for the past several years, I've worked hard at transitioning my career from being a professional blogger/blog editor to being an online media consultant who focuses on the marketing side of things (this still includes hiring bloggers, blogger outreach, and social media strategizing). I will always be a blogger, but marketing is what I did before I had kids and it's where my true passion lies.

I went to Mom2 to connect and network. I went to meet other women who do what I do. I am glad I wasn't the only person in the room who raised their hand twice when asked, "Are there any bloggers here?" then "Are there any marketers here?" And I was struck by how many of my peers (like my roomie and partner-in-crime) were in the same situation.

When we first decided that I would stay home with our older daughter, I knew that going from playdate to playground wouldn't be enough to keep me from going bananas. I knew that eventually, as soon as I figured out how to care for, adjust to, and nurture my baby, I would need to figure out how to care for and nurture myself. In 2001-2002, newly pregnant and seeking out experiences of like-minded and like-stated women, I stumbled upon the blog phenomenon. Sometime in 2003, I decided that I wanted to be part of the experiment. There was no such thing as ads on blogs or sponsored posts or vlogging back then. When I started, I had to teach myself HTML in order to be able to post links and photos. But always in the back of my mind I knew that my blog was going to be my bridge to my new work life. I didn't want it to ever be work--after all it was for me mostly--but thought it could lead to something that was. I knew after being at home and setting my own schedule that I could never work in an office (at least full-time) ever again.

So how would I make this work?

Turbulence

The flight home from Houston, where I spent the past two days, was really bumpy. For much of the ride, the fasten seatbelt sign was illuminated, and as we bounced along over Arizona climbing and descending to find smoother air, I thought I was going to grind my teeth into dust. I love to travel, but hate to fly and it's turbulence that makes it particularly unpleasant for me.

When J. and I were dating, we flew somewhere, I can't remember where, and our plane hit a particularly rough patch of turbulence.  He was completely un-phased, nose into his book, while I gripped his arm and silently freaked out, convinced we were going to crash.  "It's just bumps in the road," he tried to reassure me, but it didn't matter. I was terrified.

He also whispered some other things to me until the bumpiness subsided so whenever I am flying and we hit turbulence, it's his voice I hear first.

"It's just bumps in the road."

"Don't worry."

"See, jet propulsion works like this..."

LA Story #3: In 50 Cent's old house on a rainy day, doing my best Gallagher imitation

So to recap, Bad Kitty and I are in LA on a photo shoot for Turning Leaf wines.  I did some blogging for them and they picked four bloggers to come to LA to be shot for an upcoming ad. An ad that I've since found out will be in Oprah and Real Simple and InTouch and More...and others. 

We were picked for our writing skills not for our looks (which is awesomely awesome), but as it turns out, I will be representin' for all the plus-sized laydeez out there. Everyone else that I saw was model-riffic, especially the lovely Rebecca Woolf. Yeah, so, uh...(cringggge) REPRESENT!

Anyway.

Day one of the shoot found us on Abbot Kinney in Venice trying to get as many outdoor pics as possible because a storm was coming.  We finished just as raindrops started to fall.  We scrapped the planned beach shoot in Malibu because it was still raining, and spent day two of the shoot in a glass house perched on the edge of a canyon in the Brentwood hills.