CityMama™

California, you disappoint me today. [Prop 8 upheld]

Please watch this video and donate.  Time to begin working on a repeal. And to be fearless.

"Why I'm Happy. Why I'm Not Satisfied."

SO brilliant. Let's keep doing the work.

H/T: MamaPop

National Day of Service: What are you doing today?

If you can't get out and about in your community for whatever reason, you can still do something. Here are some simple ideas for helping to end childhood hunger from Share our Strength and Quaker Oats who is generously sponsoring our MOMocrats inauguration party tomorrow. These are easy ways to help from your desk or your phone.

What a child understands about love and fairness [No on Prop. 8 Now and Forever]

Like so many Californians, my happiness at Barack Obama winning the election was tempered by the passing of Prop. 8 which seeks to amend our state constitution to define marriage as only between a man and a woman.

For months we had waged a quiet campaign, sporting a bumper sticker on my car and a sign in our yard, both attained at our church. I admit that I just couldn't see how Yes on 8 would pass and I focused my attention on Prop. 4 thinking that that measure was the one that--if ignored--would pass.

Then, when it looked like it was going to be a close call, we stepped up our game. We attended a rally on election day hoping to keep the issue fresh in voters' minds.  Wallie even came with me (Bunny joined us later) dolled up in appropriate attire:

With appropriate accessories:

I have always been hesitant about bringing small kids to events like this, and hadn't until this point. I have attended rallies and marches but never with my kids because I felt they were too young to understand the purpose and didn't want to appear to be politicizing them.

But things changed.

Yes we can!

 

Letter to Bunny and Wallie before Election Day

Dear Bunny and Wallie,

For the past year, your Mamma has been living and breathing politics trying very hard--along with other mothers (your blogger aunties)--to do everything we can to get a Democrat elected to the White House, or as you understand, trying to get "The Blue Team" elected. It has been a tough year and I know I haven't always spent enough time cooking, reading, and playing games with you, but I did it for you, and if we win, girls, it will be so worth it.

We started out supporting one candidate, then that candidate dropped out, so since then, we've been supporting Barack Obama. I know that you don't fully understand why your Mamma and Papa are Democrats or why we think Barack Obama is the best person to be president for our country. When you are older, you can go back and read the history of this time and hopefully you will see why we voted the way we did. And hopefully, because you are our daughters, raised with our values which also mesh with the values of our liberal spiritual community, you will understand that whatever the outcome is on Tuesday, we made the right decision for our family and our country.

Californians: Protect Teen Safety by Voting No on Prop. 4 [Issue Affects Entire Country]

Once again, anti-choice proponents who would seek to overturn Roe v. Wade have an initiative on the California ballot that if passed would be a serious blow to women's reproductive rights. The last time around I worked hard to make sure this measure didn't pass and even created a successful blog action around it. If you feel inclined to blog about this issue, let me know in the comments below and I will link your post.

This issue is not just about California.  This proposition should concern everyone who cares about women's reproductive rights.  The people who are trying to pass this proposition see it as a stepping stone to making it mandatory for teens to have to ask their parents' permission to obtain birth control. To overturning Roe v. Wade.  If these issues are of concern to you, if you'd like to government to stay out of your uterus, please read this.  Your state could be next.

The last time this proposition was on the ballot (two years ago when it was known as Prop. 85),  I participated in a conference call with Margaret Crosby, an attorney for the ACLU who has been on the front lines of women's rights issues for the past thirty years. She shared with me and the other bloggers in attendance, some startling facts about the proposition and what would happen if it were enacted. The following is my write-up of the call. (Note: Any inaccuracies should be attributed to my poor note taking skills and not to anything Ms. Crosby said.)

This post is directed at "the choir." Those of you who live in California who support choice and who want to protect vulnerable teens.  If you are anti-choice, I know that I am not going to change your mind on the issue just as you aren't going to change mine.  We can debate in the comments all you want, but really, today, I don't feel much like battling.  I know where I stand, what I believe in, the kind of country I'd like to live in, the kind of future I'd like to shape for my daughters.

Prop. 4 would prohibit abortions for California teens until 48 hours after their parents have been notified.

First and foremost, according to Ms. Crosby, know that the people who support Prop. 4 have proposed this measure as a way of restricting access to abortion by playing on our legitimate fears. Fear of sexual predators, rape, abuse, and incest.

They talk about protecting teens, but if this proposition passes, in reality, our most vulnerable teens are at risk.

If this proposition passes, it will take effect in early 2009. Pregnant teens will go to the doctor and by then the government is supposed to have forms printed that say, "Your daughter is pregnant and wants to have an abortion." Then forms are then supposed to be either 1) hand-delivered by the doctor to the parents or 2) sent by certified or first class mail. The teen must then wait a further 48 hours to have an abortion, and the postmark is when the 48 hours begins. (By noon of the 2nd day, 48 hours later.)  Realistic? What do you think?

Let's talk about what happens if a teenager gets pregnant.

As an anonymous commenter on my last post about this asked:

so, you're saying that if bunny or wallie got pregnant at age 15, you couldn't care less that they kept it to themselves and went and aborted it without telling you a thing? Mmmkay..

Well, first, that scenario is presuming a lot about my family culture, but let's use that comment to kick off the discussion of what happens when a teen does become pregnant. Will she turn to her parents and under what circumstances? In the best case scenario, parents have long-established an environment of caring, loving, open, honest, respectful communication and support with their children. In this situation the teen is likely to turn to her parents or a trusted older adult. They might be shocked, but would be supportive of whatever the best situation for their daughter would be. They would provide this support in a loving environment.

Statistics indicate that 60% of the time, older teens do involve their parents in this situation and it raises to 90% for younger teens. If teens already involve their parents or trusted elder, why have a law mandating family communication?  And if teens aren't turning to their parents, they probably have a good reason. But I am getting ahead of myself.

So why would a teen not turn to her parents?  Ms. Crosby describes of spectrum of scenarios. The first and most benign is that perhaps her parents have unusually high expectations for their child. A pregnancy would shatter those expectations. Next on the spectrum is parents that have rigid views. A teen pregnancy could foment a forced marriage or the teen could be forced to have the baby. Next might be a family that is in crisis: Mom just got a breast cancer diagnosis, there is job loss, mental illness, alcoholism, or drug addiction. And, finally, the last step on the spectrum, a family that is truly dysfunctional where there is domestic violence or abuse. A teen revealing a pregnancy in this situation could be the red flag that triggers more violence.

Again, to those that say, "What parent wouldn't want to know about a daughter's pregancy?"  I respond, that is exactly the question you should be asking. Yes, what parent wouldn't want to know. I would want to know and I would hope that my daughter would tell me if she were in that situation.  You have to take the question one step further and ask yourself, "WHY WOULDN'T A TEEN WANT TO TELL HER PARENTS?" 

My unique Hawaiian view of the presidential debate

If you care to know what someone who was born in Hawaii thought of last Friday's debate, click on over to MOMocrats.

Talking about the election with young kids [three simple tips]

It's no secret that for about a year, I—along with about 22 other progressive moms—have been trying in our own little corner of the internet to influence the outcome of this election.  We are consumed by politics in our household.  We've been riding the campaign roller-coaster through all of its ups and downs, and it's not surprising that our kids have taken notice.

When we started this process, they were five and three, still pretty little, still very impressionable. A year ago, J. and I could have hushed conversations and not worry too much about being overheard. But about a month ago, my six-year-old overheard me say that a friend's husband was a Republican and she couldn't stop exclaiming, "But that's the other team!" Because my girls are savvier and pick up on everything we say, we've had to set up some parameters around how we discuss politics, especially now that we are in the home stretch.

Here's how I've been talking to Bunny and Wallie about politics.

Use the sports analogy. Democrats are "The Blue Team," Republicans are "The Red Team." During the primaries we cheered on specific candidates, but we always stressed the team aspect—even if our chosen candidate didn't win a primary, it was A-OK, there was someone on "our team" ready to step in and take her or his place. The sports analogy is something that even Wallie readily grasps.

My Obama Mama

My lucky mom with the next President and First Lady of the United States. Read about her experience meeting the Obamas here.