CityMama™

The FTC wants to regulate mommy bloggers [bring 'em on]

By now you've probably heard the news: The FTC is looking into holding blogs and bloggers (including mommy bloggers) liable for false statements made in connection with product reviews. Blogger and lawyer Linsey Krolik writes:

Simple disclaimers (what can vary, but are usually something along the lines of "I am not liable for anything I say on my blog," etc.) can provide some protection, but only go so far. Nothing can remove all risk for bloggers - there is always risk. But how large is the risk? This will depend on the blogger, the product, the situation.

You can read more about what this means here and Linsey's complete post here.

The FTC is mainly targeting bloggers who (possibly) make false claims, but the heart of the issue is blogger transparency. In other words, if you are writing about a product or service you received for free or if you were paid to post about a product or service, should you disclose it? In my opinion, the answer is a resounding yes, but there are some bloggers (and not just mommy bloggers) who haven't been as forthcoming. This creates confusion and has led to a lot of barbs being traded about mommy bloggers (especially) lacking integrity and damaging the community. I will get to that in a moment.

Dear Alex McCord and Simon Van Kempen of Real Housewives of New York City fame

I would appreciate it very much if you told your publicist to stop sending me emails asking if I want to interview you. Or ask you for parenting advice. Or hear your tips for having a happy Christmas or Festivus or Valentine's Day. Trust me, there is no advice I would ever take from you about how to raise my children.

I have told this to her repeatedly and yet, the emails keep on coming. Since January 27 I have received 4 emails from her company about you two. Add these four to the countless emails I have received since you went on this publicity blitz.  I finally took matters into my own hands on January 30 and responded:

This must be the 5th? 6th? letter I have written to you about these two jackasses.  Please, I do not care about alex and simon. In fact, I think they are two of the biggest aholes on the planet. Please remove me from your distribution or I just might blog about how desperate alex and simon are for publicity that they keep siccing their PR people on me.

On February 11, I opened my email to find yet another email about you. Did I want to interview you about your parenting book?  No!  No!  A thousand times no!

Alex and Simon, I get at least 50 PR emails a day.  I don't have time for this nonsense. "What could I do," I thought to myself, "To once and for all get off of this distribution list?"  What would it take to be stricken from the records, as it were. I decided to take drastic measures. And, admittedly, it's not pretty. But you guys have resorted to drastic measures to get things that you needed (like your kids into a fancy private school), right?

Hi (publicist),

Remember this letter I sent you not too long ago? In fact, it was dated January 30.

This must be the 5th? 6th? letter I have written to you about these two jackasses.  Please, I do not care about alex and simon. In fact, I think they are two of the biggest aholes on the planet. Please remove me from your distribution or I just might blog about how desperate alex and simon are for publicity that they keep sicing their PR people on me.

Who do I have to (insert your favorite naughty act here) to get off your PR list regarding these two douchebags? The day I take parenting advice from these two dicks is the day hell freezes over. Maybe what I really need to do is blog this whole exchange and maybe, finally, you'll stop sending me press releases about the most annoying couple on TV.

About a minute later, I get this response addressed "For Stephanie"—and isn't it just so fitting that she got my name wrong:

If you consider yourself a professional, you should be profoundly ashamed of your language in this e-mail. You certainly owe me an apology. We are taking you off our media lists for all of our clients. I have no interest in doing business with someone who behaves as you do.

(Publicist)

Now Alex, Simon, I've written my share of "PR people take heed/our voices will be heard" posts over the years, and frankly, I'm kind of tired of them.  Some of the nicest, most professional people I know work in PR.  I've met PR folks through blogging that now I would consider friends. Most of my exchanges with PR folks have been positive, but if your business requires sending out mass emails—whether you are a PR agency a retailer or Barack Obama—and a recipient asks to be removed from the list, remove her from the list.  Yes, I have filters and folders on my email account, but at the end of the day, it's not my responsibility. In the end, isn't it more important to have a meaningful email distribution list full of people ready to blog, buy, or donate?

In the end,  I got what I wanted, and I let her know.

Hallelujah! 

I love it.  You can harass me repeatedly regarding Alex and Simon, ignore my repeated requests to be removed from your distribution list, then lecture ME for being unprofessional? That is HILARIOUS.

Thank you for FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY taking me off your lists!  Hooray!!

 Whatever it takes, Alex and Simon.  Whatever it takes.

Except that since that exchange, she's emailed me two more times asking me if I want to interview you and sent more separate emails about face creams and collagen and other beauty products. Am I interested in beauty products? Is it something I blog and Twitter about? Yes, I love beauty products. But I will never ever in a million years blog anything she emails spams me about. Funny, she has no interest in doing business with me and yet--she can't stop trying to do business with me!

Please, I am begging you. Make her stop.

 

Blogger, Marketer, Mother: My revised take on the "making money while blogging" thing

Last week I had the pleasure (and truly, it was a pleasure) of attending the Mom 2.0 Summit in Houston, a gathering of marketers, new media-types, and blogging moms. The main reason I wanted to attend the conference was because it was less bloggy and more "marketer-y." Don't get me wrong, I love attending the conferences that focus on blogging, but for the past several years, I've worked hard at transitioning my career from being a professional blogger/blog editor to being an online media consultant who focuses on the marketing side of things (this still includes hiring bloggers, blogger outreach, and social media strategizing). I will always be a blogger, but marketing is what I did before I had kids and it's where my true passion lies.

I went to Mom2 to connect and network. I went to meet other women who do what I do. I am glad I wasn't the only person in the room who raised their hand twice when asked, "Are there any bloggers here?" then "Are there any marketers here?" And I was struck by how many of my peers (like my roomie and partner-in-crime) were in the same situation.

When we first decided that I would stay home with our older daughter, I knew that going from playdate to playground wouldn't be enough to keep me from going bananas. I knew that eventually, as soon as I figured out how to care for, adjust to, and nurture my baby, I would need to figure out how to care for and nurture myself. In 2001-2002, newly pregnant and seeking out experiences of like-minded and like-stated women, I stumbled upon the blog phenomenon. Sometime in 2003, I decided that I wanted to be part of the experiment. There was no such thing as ads on blogs or sponsored posts or vlogging back then. When I started, I had to teach myself HTML in order to be able to post links and photos. But always in the back of my mind I knew that my blog was going to be my bridge to my new work life. I didn't want it to ever be work--after all it was for me mostly--but thought it could lead to something that was. I knew after being at home and setting my own schedule that I could never work in an office (at least full-time) ever again.

So how would I make this work?

Blog World Expo 08: My very brief take plus some thoughts that I didn't get to share on my panel (for the PR people)

At the beginning of the summer, I had definite plans to be at Blog World Expo on a panel with some kick-ass muthabloggas. As the summer progressed, those plans mutated, changed, folded in upon themselves, and fell apart.

Which brings me to exactly one week ago when Sheila called to ask if I wanted to be on a panel with her at BWE08 and I said, "No."

"I'm leaning towards no."

"I really have no desire to go to Vegas."

But Sheila is persistent (and she offered to let me snug up with her and Mr. XiaolinMama) and that's how I found myself on a plane to Vegas four days later to participate in a panel discussion on "How to Pitch to (Mom) Bloggers." Moderating the panel was the always fabulous and righteously smaht Susan Getgood.

photo courtesy: Sheila Bernus Dowd

Here are my thoughts on BWE08, but please, take them with a grain of salt since I didn't attend the entire conference. Why? Mamma doesn't like being away from her babies.

Barack Obama answers MOMocrats' questions in exclusive interview!

Did you read that title!  Did you? I am so excited I can hardly contain myself!

When Glennia, Beth, and I started MOMocrats six months ago (yes, only six months ago) sitting in Coupa Cafe, we never thought it would come to this. Now we have 22 writers contributing to our national, netroots, political blog. Our contributors include three Huffington Post bloggers, an entrepreneur, an ex-director of GLAAD, a policy analyst, several lawyers, many professional and personal bloggers, a film-maker, a homeless advocate, and a youth advocate. All of us, no matter what we do have three things in common: we are moms, we are passionate about issues that affect our families, and we are dedicated to making sure a Democrat gets elected president.

I don't have the funds to attend every fundraiser that comes along, but what I do have are 10 fingers, a laptop, and enough marketing savvy to make me dangerous. MOMocrats is my phone banking. It is my check-book-wielding. It is my canvassing neighborhoods. It is all of that on a world-wide scale. Some people drop checks in the mail. I drop knowledge along with 21 other kick-ass women. It is the best way I know how to make change happen.

With that, I present our very first press release written to promote our very very exciting news. Yes, we send press releases now. P.S. Big thank you to Geoff Livingston for helping us get the word out.

Yes we can.

I know we can.

We are doing it.

As PunditMom says, "MOMocrats: World Domination by 2012!"  I think we're well on our way.

:: :: ::

MOMocrats EXCLUSIVE with Barack Obama

MOMocrats step up where mainstream media and traditional debates let the American public down, "Things we wish they'd asked in the debates..."

Recently, MOMocrats asked the Democratic Presidential candidates the questions we all wish reporters or moderators had asked in any interview or debate. Today, Senator Barack Obama sent back his answers to the MOMocrats' questions. This is the latest example of the influence political blogging groups are showing in the presidential campaign.

The most recent debate between the Democratic candidates was disappointing to most citizens. We felt that the questions were directed more towards mud slinging between the candidate rather than substantive questions about domestic and foreign policy. So the MOMocrats and their readers came up with a list of "Questions We Wish ABC Had Asked." Then we submitted them to the candidates.

In a MOMocrats exclusive, Barack Obama answers the questions that should have been asked during the last debate. Click here to read our interview, in which he finally gets to discuss the issues, not his apparel or acquaintances.

 

"We were really frustrated with the questions that were asked in the last debate so we came up with a list of questions from our contributors and readers," said MOMocrats Managing Editor Glennia Campbell. "We appreciated that the Obama campaign took our questions seriously and answered them thoroughly."

We haven't heard from the Clinton campaign yet, but the MOMocrats invitation for Senator Clinton to weigh in remains open.

The MOMocrats are savvy, politically active moms dedicated to putting a Democrat in the White House. You can read more about them at MOMocrats. For more information, contact Glennia Campbell at glennia.campbell@gmail.com or [edited from orig press release: leave a note in the comments if you'd like to talk to Glennia by phone. I will put you in touch with her.]

Cancel the torch run says C.W. Nevius, and I gotta say, I agree

I am amazed that the protesters who climbed the cables on the Golden Gate Bridge to unfurl their "Free Tibet" banners didn't get immediately picked off by SWAT snipers. Ever since 9/11 the Golden Gate Bridge has been under tight security. The conspiracy theorist in me thinks that the bridge police were tipped off, otherwise how else could three people climb the cables in broad daylight on one of the world's most recognizable landmarks and not have something tragic happen to at least one of them.

San Francisco Chronicle columnist C.W. Nevius is calling for the tomorrow's torch run to be canceled and I agree. Yesterday, I wondered if the San Francisco relay would be canceled.  Nevius says:

Look, Monday's protest on the Golden Gate Bridge was about as effective and safe as you are going to see. On a sun-splashed San Francisco day, three climbers scaled cables on the Golden Gate Bridge, unfurled two banners with the precision of an America's Cup crew, then came down peacefully to turn themselves over to authorities.

I support the Free Tibet cause. I the protests and the peaceful protesters. I support any athlete who who chooses to use her or his time in the international spotlight to make a political statement. I just don't want anyone to get hurt. 

I considered going to protest, even taking my five-year-old with me. But when I saw what happened in London, I said forget it. Then came Paris and yeah. That sealed the deal. There is no way I would drag my kid into that mix. The protests are supposed to be peaceful. In San Francisco, the protesters have designated protest spots. Right! San Francisco's police are probably as patient as you are going to find—we're used to protests here—but tomorrow, if this is allowed to continue, it's going to be ugly.

San Francisco is the only U.S. stop for the torch before it continues on its "goodwill tour." And that's just it. It's not generating goodwill. It is a PR bust of epic proportions so stop it already, China and the I.O.C. Who is handling your PR?!  I don't see the point of continuing this farce. Given China's human rights record, what city on the tour would welcome the flame with open arms?

And what is going to happen when it reaches Tibet?  I really don't need to know the answer to that question.

BlogHer Business: "We don't know what to do with you."/ Pitching to bloggers of color (My session.)

After having a couple of days to think about the BlogHer Business social media outreach session on which I was invited to be a panelist (live blog link), I have come to the conclusion that there is still more to talk about when it comes to pitching to bloggers of color. We started a conversation at BlogHer07 and while my panel session continued the conversation, it was just the tip of the iceberg.

As I was sitting at the gate waiting to board my plane to New York, the question suddenly hit me: "As a multicultural person, what do I want from PR people?" After all, as Susan Getgood says, I am their customer and PR firms need to be asking themselves, "What can we do for bloggers?" I realized that I didn't really have a good answer.

Knowing that a fair amount of PR people follow me on Twitter, I quickly sent out a query: Have thoughts on pitching to bloggers of color? DM me.  Immediately, my inbox was flooded with responses. One person said, "I don't think about it, I pitch to everyone equally." Another said, "I don't think my firm makes a conscious effort one way or another." Bloggers of color also responded with some version of "please let me know what the PR people say."

As I boarded the plane, I had a lot to think about.

I was 99% done talking about it, and this brings me to 100%.

Erin Kotecki Vest has another great post up about the business of mommyblogging which leads with this 'graph:

I’m getting myself very out of sorts lately following all the J&J, Disney drama. It has nothing to do with who got invited, who got snubbed, who got an email, who got a pitch, who is going, who is staying silent.

Nothing.

Thank you, Erin.  I have been a teense perturbed by how this issue has morphed into people crying into their coffee about not being invited to (or not being able to attend) Camp Baby. I know people are hurt but I am not one of them. My feelings are fine. The take-away from my experience, why I wanted to share it, was to point out that they treated potential business partners in a completely unprofessional manner. You don't treat people you want to build a relationship with, whether it be a friend or a business associate, the way they treated many bloggers.

I'll even go out on a limb and say that while I think it's stupid of them to plan the event during the week, and to not allow breastfeeding infants, I think it's the mostest stupidest of the people working on the event that they didn't follow the same game plan. There was so much confusion. So much misinformation. At least they should have had a coherent policy on why bloggers could/could not attend. All of this goes back to relationship-building. Were they successful?

To recap:

• I felt pressured into attending Camp Baby. (3 invites from 3 different people.)
• I felt pressured to RSVP. (Hurry, space is filling up.)
• I RSVP'd that I would attend after juggling childcare/work arrangements.
• Note: no travel arrangements were required for me other than getting me from J&J in New Jersey to Manhattan so I could attend BlogHer Biz.
• I was disinvited because I would have to leave early to attend BlogHer Biz. I was told I needed to be at the event the whole time.
• Since then I've been contacted by bloggers who were told that "it's okay" if they can only attend part of the time and they are attending under those conditions
• I've also been contacted by bloggers saying that they were enticed into attending with first class tickets (which were not offered to everyone).

Who they wanted to invite is their business. How they wanted to do it is their business, too, but their plan should have been iron-clad. If you weren't invited and are hurt, it doesn't feel good and I'm sorry. Let it go—more opportunities will surely come along. It's the way the Mommyblogger world works at the moment.

Erin lists all the reasons why people start blogs, especially mom blogs, and I have to say my reasons were slightly different—and two-fold. Yes, I wanted to connect with people and share my experiences which at the time were about parenting in a urban (city) environment, something I wasn't reading too much about back in the day.

Read it, Digg it, and if you are a PR person: Learn it

Cuz you just got schooled and your teacher's name is the Queen of Spain.

(I promise, I got, like, 7 really delicious recipes to share, but for now, this takes precedence.)

This is the take-away from the the Johnson's Baby Camp* mess-up. The take away is not "Why didn't I get invited?" or "Why are they raising a stink when the invite said no kids?" What Erin/QofS is blogging about is something that all women bloggers who get pitched need to understand: We are nothing to (many of, not all of) these companies except a resource or a commodity. We do their marketing work for them and we do it for peanuts. When they offer us stuff for free it's not because they are generous and they appreciate how hard it is to be a mom. That's what they might tell us, but it's not the underlying motive.

Somewhere back at that company there is a spreadsheet. And on that spreadsheet is an account number. An account number labeled "blogger outreach" or something like that. And marketing people and their managers got together and discussed just how big the budget was for blogger outreach should be. Then they hired a PR agency to tell them how they should spend that money. The probably decided to send you a bunch of crap. Or maybe they threw a party. Or a camp. And then they got together and decided what "success" for that program would look like. They might have agreed that if 10-15% of the bloggers they contacted blogged about their crap then that was "successful." And because it was successful, come budget renewal time, their managers gave them more money (plus a little extra, maybe) to do it again.

Hi, my name is Stefania, and guess what? Before I had kids I worked in...MARKETING.

So it's not because they think we're overworked and deserve a free yoga mat or box of snacks for our kids or a sample of detergent, "just cuz." It's because we are an essential part of their marketing plan. Accept the goods or services if you want, if it's something that will benefit you or you family—I do and it's my choice—but know that you have power, too. And if you don't like the pitch or the PR agency treats you shabbily, speak up.

Aren't we worth more than a free book?

*Be sure to check out the linked posts.

Johnson's Baby Camp: The "Diss"-invitation

Edited to add: This afternoon I spoke with Lori Dolginoff, Director of Communications for Johnson's. See the end of this post.

Yesterday I blogged about how I was disinvited from Johnson's Baby Camp because I couldn't commit to being there the entire time. Even though I was traveling to the east coast for BlogHer anyway (on my own dime), and even though they approached me all apologetic-like because I hadn't been invited, and even though I was told to hurry and RSVP as spaces were filling up, I was told I wouldn't be participating.

Let this be (another) lesson to PR people: This is (another) perfect example of how not to deal with bloggers. When I Twittered that I had been disinvited, then posted about it, I had commenters flocking to my post to see what was up. I also had about 15 new PR people requesting to follow me on Twitter (since my tweets are locked) inside of 30 minutes. J&J via their PR agency had the misfortune to bungle this opportunity with someone who is passionate about educating PR people on how they "get it wrong," and how they can "get it right." And like I said in my previous post, I will be talking about this at BlogHer business (especially from the "minority blogger" angle), and I know I'm not the only one.

Why do I do it? I do it for ALL the mommy bloggers. If PR people learn how to do this right, it benefits all of us. In other words, it's so not about me. I hope that is abundantly clear.

So here's how it all went down:

It all started when my good friend Jill Asher, founder of the Silicon Valley Moms Blog  called me to see if I was going to Baby Camp. I told her I hadn't been invited. (See J&J? We bloggers go to conventions and meet-ups and stuff where we meet each other and become...FRIENDS. Friends who talk about stuff. Like blogger meet-ups.)

Jill told me that J&J had extended invitations to the SVMoms and their network of bloggers and since I occasionally contribute to SV Moms, she asked if I would attend if invited. I said, "Sure."

Next thing I know, this email hits my in-box.

MARCH 13 (first email)

from    redacted <redacted@rfbinder.com>
to    Stefania
date    Thu, Mar 13, 2008 at 4:33 PM
subject    Johnson's Camp Baby
mailed-by    rfbinder.com

Hello Stefania,

Jill Asher informed me that you have not received your invitation to Johnson's Camp Baby. I apologize, and wanted to inform you that you will receive it tomorrow morning and if interested, you can register directly from it.

I hope you're able to join us.

Take Care,
redacted

MARCH 13 (second email from DIFFERENT PERSON at DIFFERENT PR AGENCY)

redacted <redacted@mmastrategiccommunications.com>

Hello Stephania - though I’ve reached out a few times, we’ve not officially “met”.  I’m writing because I just got pulled into this project that Johnson’s Baby is doing for bloggers – it’s called Baby Camp.

Basically, it’s a press trip to discuss all things baby and its taking place on April 2 - 4, 2008 in New Jersey.  I’m attaching info along with an agenda so you can see what it all entails.  Would love to know if you’d like to come (know it’s short notice but I just found out about it) – Johnson’s is covering the costs of travel/accommodation (the entire trip) so there is no cost to you.

 

Let me know if you’d be interested in attending and if you have any questions.

 

Best,

redacted

and I respond to the above right away:

Id love to talk to you more about this. I have some logistical issues since I will also be speaking at blogher biz (on the topic of pr-blogger outreach). Can I call you tomorrow? If so what time? Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

and she responds:

Hi - I'm pretty much around all day tomorrow except for a 2pm EST call.

My number is 908.xxx.xxxx office.

Thanks.
redacted

I never hear from her again. In the mean time...

MARCH 14 (second invitation sent by another DIFFERENT PR person--received this invitation twice)

from    Johnson & Johnson <redacted@rfbinder.com>
reply-to    redacted@rfbinder.com,
to    Stefania
date    Fri, Mar 14, 2008 at 11:45 AM
subject    Johnson's Camp Baby Registration Information
   
Dear Stefania,

JOHNSON'S® Invites You to the First Ever

Camp Baby!...

MARCH 14 (Since I hadn't RSVP'd they asked me to hurry up and respond!)

from    Johnson & Johnson <redacted@rfbinder.com>
reply-to    redacted@rfbinder.com,
to    Stefania
date    Fri, Mar 14, 2008 at 1:41 PM
subject    Johnson's Camp Baby Registration Information

Greetings Stefania,

I hope this note finds you well! Due to overwhelming response, I am excited to report that Johnson's Camp Baby is almost full! There are only a few spots left, and I would love for you to be one of our guests. Please RSVP as soon as is convenient. I apologize, but after we reach maximum capacity, we will no longer be able to accept any more RSVPs for this year's Johnson's Camp Baby. Thank you and I very much look forward to seeing you at Camp Baby!

All the Best,
Johnson's Camp Baby

Yes, I want to attend

No, I cannot attend

:: :: ::

Let me just stop for a second and say that at this point I'm thinking, "Wow! All these emails...They must really want me there."

Also at this point I am wondering how I am going to arrange for two extra days of childcare and how I am going to convince my husband to maybe take a day off of work because we can't afford to pay a sitter for the extra childcare, but how is my husband going to take a day off of work since he just started a new job two weeks ago and doesn't have any accrued vacation time yet?

How was I going to coordinate this nightmare so I could go get pampered (all the while worrying about my kids, no doubt). I finally got to the point where I decided we'd just make it work. So I RSVP'd that I would attend.