40 Whatever

Matthew McConaughey Will JK Livin' Like a 40 Year Old

Alright, alright alright, 40's lookin' pretty good to someone!

Yep, Matthew McConaughey, famous for his golden guns, tanned abs and "shirt allergy" turns 40 on November 4th.

There are plenty of ladies who love M-Squared, but he's an even bigger hit on the Bromance Circuit. What is it about "Mattias" that makes grown men swoon?

Is it because they all want to be him, with his bar-hopping, bongos and body odor?

Perhaps. 

Do you suppose it's because he's living the dream, getting paid to surf, impregnate his pretty wife Camilla, and do four hours of yoga and situps on the beach?

Maybe.

Could it be that he's so much fun to imitate?

Probably.

But look, we're not here to solve mysteries of the universe, just to welcome Matthew to the 40 Whatever Club.

Say it with me: Alright alright alright!

- Cat/Bad Kitty

Nothing says OLD like a trip to the gynecologist

The nurse practitioner in charge of the health and well-being of my lady bits is someone with whom I went to high school--but she graduated, like, 10 years after I did.

As if that's not bad enough, at my recent annual exam, the one that coincides with my birthday (in this case, my 40th birthday), I had to endure her talking to me about how my new low dose birth control pills would, "help with the hot flashes that might accompany perimenopause." They would also help with "mood swings and irregular periods" that also might accompany the beginning of "the change."

I am apparently entering the period of a woman's life when her eggs die off and her ovaries shrivel and her body says, "More babies? That's a joke, right?" Apparently I have about 10 more years of birth control pill-taking years left in me before we need to "discuss other options." Please, dear god, let my period dry up by then.

Then she handed me my own "schedule your mammogram" paper. Pink, of course.

One more day until I'm 40, folks.  One. more. day.