40 Whatever

Gwen Stefani = Super Hottie 40 y.o.

Hey, Gwen Stefani turned 40 back in October, and we were too busy to wish her a 40 whatever birthday, so here it is now:

We love Gwen because:

• She's cool, and writes catchy songs, and seems like she'd be fun to hang out with to watch movies, and read magazines. While drinking sparkling wine.
• She was raised Roman Catholic Italian. She knows from Christ! And Mary!
• She wears a ton of makeup even during the daylight hours and always looks fantastic. Gwen is living proof that you can wear a heavy eyeliner and strong lip at the same time -- she's a Glamour Hell Yeah!
• She is a mom, a rock star and fashion mogul...and she still doesn't seem like a grown up.
• She married Gavin Rossdale, the cutest rocker dude from the 90s.
• Best of all, she admits that it takes a ton of time -- no, seriously, like full-time job amount of time -- at the gym to look like she does. No "born with a fast metabolism" lies from our girl Gwen!

Mwah! Here's a big, red lipstick Happy Birthday kiss, Gwen. You make 40 look fantastic!

- Cat/@DearBadKitty

Doing it Well: Chaz Bono

Chaz Bono, born March 4, 1969

Some of you may know Chaz Bono better as the former Chastity Bono, child of Sonny and Cher. 

Chaz is just two months older than I am, and I vividly recall watching him join his parents -- he was still a she at the time -- at the end of every episode of the Sonny and Cher show. I never missed an episode, and I worshiped Chastity. How cool to be a kid on TV! And to get to wear an outfit that matched Sonny and Cher!

In 1990 the tabloid rag the Star outed Chaz. Although he was already out to his family, Chaz denied it at first, because he wasn't prepared for the public scrutiny. He subsequently came out publicly in 1995, in an interview with the Advocate.

Through the years Chaz has been a champion for the rights of gay people and same sex couples, working with the Human Rights Campaign and against the vile and misnamed Defense of Marriage Act. 

This March, Chaz celebrated his 40th birthday with Cher in Vegas. That's a party I would have paid to attend!

The latest news is that Chaz started a sexual reassignment transition (thank you People Magazine RSS feed.)  I think that's a perfect example of seizing life at 40. You're experienced enough to know what you want and how to pull it off, and still young enough to go for something huge and life changing.

Best wishes to you, Chaz, on this latest chapter: It's been delightful growing up with you, and you're still an inspiration!

- Cat/BadKitty

PS - Doesn't Travis the Near Girl (see post below) sort of look like Chaz?

UR doin' it cougar: Brooke Shields

 Born: 5/31/65 Age: 43, almost 44

Look at the hotness that is the photo above.  Yes, that really is Brooke Shields with her hand in some 19-year-old's crack.

Brooke Shields has always been like an older sister to me. An older sister that I idolized.  I'm not going to lie, I have loved her since:

• My mom dropped me and my older cousin off at the movie theater to see Blue Lagoon. (It was 1980 and I was 11. What was she thinking?)
• Her iconic Calvin Klein ads.
• Her anti-smoking ad with the cigarettes sticking out of her ears. (I don't smoke, and that ad probably had a lot to do with it.)
• She graduated from Princeton (talk about an excellent role model).
• She came out from under her controlling mother's wings and acknowledged and forgave her for making some questionable career choices on her behalf.
• She refused to tame her wild brows even when everyone was plucking them into non-existence in the 90s.
• She took on that total douchebagasaurus Tom Cruise over the issue of post-partum depression.

Brooke Shields, your new photo shoot rulz.  And as a mother of two, who acts her age (even if she doesn't look it), you are still an excellent role model.  You do 40whatever well, but then again, I knew you would.

—Stefania/CityMama

Happy Birthday Anne "Crazy Eyes" Heche

Stefania sent me this email just now:

Subj: anne heche is 40 (born may 25 1969)
Body: do you have any fodder?

My response:

"Do you mean besides the "I'm gay/I'm straight/I'm married to this guy/no this guy/oh wait maybe I AM gay" but how it's all okay because she's a Gemini?

"I mean, sure, some people would also bring up the alien abduction incident, and the crazy eyes. But we live in California, where that sort of thing (cough cough drugs) is sort of common."

She w/b and told me to copy and paste, which I did. We spare no effort here at 40whatever, even when working on a two three day birthday hangover.

You gotta admit, Annie's holding up pretty good for someone her age an alien abduction survivor.

- Cat/Bad Kitty

Happy Birthday Cate Blanchett!

Birthday: May 14, 1969

Today the beautiful and flawless-complexion'd Cate Blanchett turns 40. Not only is she lovely, she seems like a genuinely sane, down-to-earth person.

Still you never know.

With skin like that, and so much serenity ... don't you ever suspect, just a little bit, that maybe she's an ageless skin-job android?

- Cat/Bad Kitty

Renee Zellweger is in the 40w Club!

Renée Kathleen Zellweger was on born April 25, 1969, which means this weekend she joins the 40 Whatever club.

This pretty lady has had what some would call patchy luck with love, but she's also won every kind of award - Oscar,  BAFTA, SAG and Golden Globe. She's one of the highest paid actresses in Hollywood. So she's doing alright.

Besides, who hasn't broken up with a musician and then married a gay dude on the rebound? We came of age in the 80s with Boy George, Duran Duran and ambiguous gender roles. Those confusing times leave a mark.

Girlfriend also knows how to rock a dress. Remember the Paris Hilton Wonky Eye Lesson? Well Renée could give a Master Class in knowing your pose and hitting that mark every time.  She also hardly ever makes a fashion mistake, because she knows what works for her, i.e. she only wears Carolina Herrera.

Welcome Renée! Please feel free to join us in a champagne toast on your next eating day, whenever that may be. Hey, it's your birthday -- maybe you can even have two eating days this month!

- Cat/BadKitty

photo credit: Huffington Post

Okay, Maybe Mariah Is Only 39, But That's Close Enough

On Saturday afternoon I was enjoying my Us Weekly subscription, when I saw something that jolted me out of my chair -- according to them, Mariah and her cougar bait husband just celebrated her 39th birthday, not 40th.

Shit, do we need to come up with the money for a fact checker around here? Too bad, because we're so getting a (mute) pool boy/bartender first.

It turns out that Mariah is a woman of mystery. In some places it says that she was born in 1970, in others that she was born in 1969. Her People bio says 1969, and her wikipedia page has both dates, telling you something interesting about wikipedia's reliability.

Whatever. I stand by my original post about Mariah making 40 look good, whatever her real age winds up being. There's a huge difference between 15 and 16, or 20 and 21. Even 29 and 30. But by the time you hit 39, you might as well be 40.

Once we pass 35ish, we're all in pretty much the same boat, the S.S. Thank You For Checking My ID.

Mimi's first rate ass is making us all look good, so thank you and Happy Birthday Songbutterfly!

- Cat/Bad Kitty

Gee Mr. Jackman - You're Huge

 

Born 12 October 1968

Stefania and I have a thing for Hugh -- or as I like to call him, Huge -- Jackman. He's just so hunky. And since he's 40, we have a valid reason to include him here.

This is not the place to discuss the gay rumors (put to rest NOT AT ALL by his Barbara Walters lap dance) or what a perfect second husband he'd make (he's a terrific dancer, you know, and seems so considerate) or how much I wish he would shave off those weird, gross Wolverine sideburns 4-eva.

This is just a quick post to stick up a vaguely totally stalkerish photo of him, in a Speedo, with a great view of the serious heat he's packing -- hello gun show! 

God, stop tittering, guns = biceps. Not what you're thinking.

But let me assure you, if I can find a picture of him naked, I will totally post it. And you will totally look!

==> UPDATE: Stefania just told me that Perez has naked pix of Huge, so I rushed over and clicked through the shots. It's 15 screen grabs from Wolverine. Check it out, but to set your expectations: there's no frontal.

If you want more of my gushing over Huge, plus another topless photo of him (he's wet in that one) go read my review of Australia here -- scroll down past the other hunky dude, Hrithik Roshan, who is sadly not quite young enough to be cougar bait, but not quite old enough to get his own post here.

- Cat/Bad Kitty

Mariah Carey - 40 Year Old Butterfly

Her wikipedia is a year off. Miss Mariah was born March 27, 1969

God love Mariah Carey. She's as crazy as they come, sexy, tragic, talented, and so fascinating!

She has a thing for butterflies, once did an interview on her treadmill in five inch heels, and last year married 28 year old cougar bait Nick Cannon, whom she totally stole from the stunning Victoria's Secret model Selita Ebanks.

Cougar Victory! Heh heh.

For her 40th, Nick took Mariah (by took I mean he charged it to her diamond-butterfly-encrusted Kryptonite Amex card) to a special dinner. In Barbados. Because NYC doesn't have any good restaurants, I guess.

I love that Mariah is totally in on the joke, which she showed by starring with Jack McBrayer in the hysterical video for Touch My Body.  BTW, that awesome song is on my iPod and Stevie Nick's.

In a way I can't even believe she's 40. She looks incredible, wandering around in feathers, with her dresses falling off her boobs, wearing high-waisted jackets, hot pants and giant-ass sunglasses at night -- in Aspen. In the the dead of winter.

She seems older than we are, and ageless at the same time. Like a fey unicorn butterfly that can sing songs only dogs can hear.

And you know what? Her widely panned film Glitter is actually some genius good fun. You just have to watch it in the right frame of a mind. A frame of mind I like to call "Cheap Box Wine Drunk" or "Girls Night Out" for short.

To celebrate Mariah's 40th, do this:

• Netflix Glitter
• Invite your five BFFs (or the first five friends who can get sitters, whichever)
• Slip into something wet, pink and alcoholic
• Apply butterfly temporary tattoos
• Watch the flick

I think you'll be back, leaving comments on her sensitive performance. And no doubt bitching about your hangovers.

- Cat/Bad Kitty

Catherine Zeta Jones Might Already Be Forty - Or Older

Born: 25 September 1969

Catherine Zeta Jones' wikipedia entry says she was born in 1969. That would mean she turns forty this September.

Cough-cough-bullshit!

Sure, she's beautiful for any age. How many mothers of an eight and five year old look this good?

And you kind of have to love a woman who gets photographed sunbathing topless -- and smoking -- while pregnant. You just know the hand we can't see is holding a wine glass!

But for some reason the rumors swirl around her -- she lies about her age (by as much as 10 years), she's had a boob job (um, maybe a lift?), and of course Botox (obviously!)

Either way, she's "celebrating" the same year as us. I guess she's making 40 look good. Or maybe she's making 50 look amazing!

- Cat/Bad Kitty